I'll Be Seeing You
by Galpalcj
Summary: Inspired by GMW's Rucas/Liley and the Billie Holiday song. This scene is incredibly bittersweet, but it may only be the beginning of their story.
1. Chapter 1- Far From Home

Riley sat on the edge of the bed twisting the diamond engagement ring on her finger. She'd worn it nearly a year and still wasn't used to the way it caught the lamplight from their bedside table at night or the weight it added to her hand. She peered at the golden band with its antique setting and flawless stone. The ring wasn't the problem. It was simple and elegant. Beautiful. Out of every ring in the world it was the exact one she would have chosen for herself.

Lucas wasn't the problem either. He was strong and passionate, kind and gentle, ambitious and motivated, and being one of the most gorgeous men God had ever placed on earth didn't exactly hurt either. He was every woman's walking, talking fantasy, and Riley had been drawn to him from the moment she'd first laid eyes on him.

Even before she understood love or aspired to it, she had stumbled onto her future happily ever after. Though it hadn't always been a fairytale. It had been a long hard road at times, but even when she had lost faith, Lucas never had. In all their years together his love had been steadfast, which only strengthened her own in return.

The ring made another rotation as her eyes wandered over toward the clock.

He'd be home soon.

 _Five years earlier…_

 _Riley danced from one side of her bedroom to the other, depositing random items into boxes as she went. Graduation had finally passed and now the countdown was on. Only two more days remained before she took that first step into the rest of her life. Fortunately, she wouldn't be alone._

 _A smile crept across her face as she thought of Lucas. She twirled again absentmindedly, this time landing right in someone's arms. The brunette all but leapt from her skin as his hands instinctively flew upward._

" _I'm sorry Riles, I didn't mean to scare you."_

 _She quickly recovered, pulling him in for a "proper greeting" kiss._

" _So how long were you standing there? She asked, her arms still hooked around his neck._

" _Long enough to realize I'm the luckiest guy in the entire world."_

 _His eyes beamed with so much love it made her heart flutter before traveling across the room of boxes._

" _Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, giving her one last chance to back out._

 _She angled her head to the side, studying the features of his face._

" _Do you not want me to?"_

 _His grip around her waist tightened as he looked deep into those beautiful brown eyes, searching them for any sign fear or doubt._

" _Of course, I want you with me. There's nothing I want more, but you're giving up an awful lot. I just want you to be absolutely certain this is what you want," he spoke softly, brushing her hair behind an ear. "I don't want you to regret this someday."_

 _His concern was truly touching and it only cemented her decision. She could work for a year until the out of state fee was waved and then go to school. She could come back to visit her family and friends. There was nothing she could do in New York she couldn't do in Texas, but there was something she could do in Texas she couldn't do anywhere else in the world right now and that was to be with Lucas._

 _She smiled, taking his face between her hands._

" _I love you for worrying about me, but you really don't have to. You are one hundred percent worth it and I could never ever regret being with you." She sealed her promise with another enthusiastic kiss._

Riley fought the urge to cry, determined not to greet him with tears.

'I should be happy," she scolded herself internally.

After being gone an entire week she should've been excited to see him again, to have more than a voice or a picture to hold onto, but she wasn't. Not because she hadn't longed for him during her absence. She had. She'd missed everything about him; his touch, his smile, the color of his eyes, the scent of his body wash. He'd become such a massive part of her life…the most significant piece of the whole puzzle.

Which was exactly the problem.

Lucas's favorite part of the day for the last two years had been coming home to his fiancée. He'd often arrived to find her by the door waiting for him. The first few months she'd dedicated herself to decorating their new home together. Once that task was done she'd committed herself to learning to cook and so he'd find her in the kitchen putting finishing touches on their supper for the evening. Later on, the dinner table had become her favorite place to prepare for school registration. She'd spent months at that table going over material for a test she'd never taken.

The last week without her had been torture and all he had wanted was to hurry home to her. Only now that he was there, it was a sickening silence greeting him in Riley's place. He found her alone in their bedroom, lost in her own thoughts, so lost she hadn't even heard him come in.

Gently, he tapped his knuckles against the door, alerting her to his presence.

His heart sank as she offered him a half-hearted smile.

She looked over at him, her heart near to bursting with devotion. There weren't enough words in the English vocabulary to describe her love for the man standing before her or her wonder at how the universe had somehow deemed her worthy of him. She'd spent the last few hours combing over those words, carefully searching for the right ones to say, but as she opened her mouth, they fled.

"Hi," she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

He forced a grin, crossing the room to her side.

"Hey," he took her by the chin and guiding her eyes toward his own.

The two sat silently, Lucas watching her emotions flicker in those dark orbs sparkling with unshed tears.

From the moment she had fallen onto his lap in the subway he'd had a way of seeing through her, down into her. At first, she had found it unnerving, but over the years it had become comfortable and familiar. It was nice having someone who could make sense of herself even when she couldn't…but not this time. She'd have given anything to be able to hide her feelings from him in that moment.

The pain hiding there made him ache. If only she would tell him what was wrong, he'd move heaven and hell fix it for her. Finally, she could hold back no longer, collapsing against him, sobbing into his arms.

He did his best to comfort her, stroking her back, whispering how he would make everything okay. She knew how much he meant those words, and yet they brought her no joy. How could they, when he couldn't keep the promises he was making? Only she could make this right, and she'd surely have to break both their hearts to do so.

"I'm sorry…" she sniffled, daring to meet his emerald orbs.

The blonde shook his head with an amused smirk. He probably assumed she was apologizing for being upset. Knowing Lucas, he'd find that endearing. He didn't realize her agony was one they would share momentarily. If she could ever get the words out…

"I'm sorry Lucas," she tried again, "I really thought I could do this…"

She'd sworn no regrets, and she'd meant it. Even now, she couldn't find it in her heart to wish anything that would take her away from him sooner. True, she might have been able to avoid this gnawing at her soul, but she doubted any alternate course could have made her happy, if he wasn't in it.

A fear he wouldn't name flooded his senses as he hung on those words. He'd always feared this might happen. Despite her protests, he'd seen the distance chipping away at her each time they visited the city. She missed her home and those she loved there terribly. And though she'd never admit it, some part of him had always known he was only one person and couldn't possibly make up for all she had sacrificed.

Then he noticed her suitcase in the corner-a sickening sucker punch to his gut. She was leaving him. Maybe not that night or the next day, but she already had one foot out the door.

This time when he looked back at her, his anguish mirrored her own.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked dumbfounded.

The brunette shook her head, fighting a fresh round of tears.

"Nothing, okay, you did nothing wrong. You have been everything I could ever ask for…and I love you so much…"

His eyes filled with tears of his own. "Then why are you saying this? Why are you giving up on us, after everything?"

She hooked a strand of dark brown hair behind her ear, searching for the right words.

"Because when you aren't around…it's like I don't exist Lucas. I've gotten so consumed in us that I've lost me. And I thought I could live with that, that we would be enough, but I feel like if I don't choose myself this once then I'll disappear and there won't be anything left."

"But we're supposed to be getting married." his voice cracking under the strain of heartbreak.

He wanted to be more understanding, but, how could he? With every word, she was ripping their world apart and he couldn't accept it. He loved her too much to let her go so easily.

Riley took his face in her hands like she had on their first date when she had kissed him. There was so much pain in those green eyes and she hated herself for being the cause of it.

"I love you Lucas, and I want that. I want to be your wife. I want to have your children. I want everything we talked about having…but I want to be me when I do that. And right now, I'm not…"

He knew he should be more sympathetic. She had been willing to give up everything for their life together and now it was his turn to sacrifice, but Lucas didn't want to sacrifice. He wanted her. He wanted everything she had promised him and after seven years he'd grown tired of waiting for it.

"You don't mean that. You're scared. This is what you do, Riley. You look for reasons to distance yourself from me, every time we get a step closer, you take three steps back. Don't do it! Stay with me," he pleaded.

She almost said yes. She wanted to throw her arms around him and smother him in kisses until all the pain and emptiness between the two of them evaporated, but she knew it wouldn't happen. She had been ignoring those feelings for a long time and she knew now they weren't going away.

"I'm not saying I don't want to be with you. I'm just saying that I can't stay here," she gestured with her hands to the room around them. "I need to find myself again, and I can't do that a million miles away from home. I need to go back to my roots, to the last place I was myself. Can't you please try to understand?"

Could he? All he'd ever wanted was for her to be happy and to be with him. She was still wearing the ring he gave her. She was still saying she loved him and she wanted their life together…long distance wasn't ideal but wasn't it so much better than losing her completely? Except…there was already distance between them of a much more dangerous nature. Physical distance could be overcome but emotional distance on top of that? If he let her go to New York with such a void between them…how long before she slipped right through his fingers?

"Marry me." He declared.

She sighed placing her hand on the side of his face. "I already said yes, remember?"

He shook his head. "No, I mean before you go. You need to go home, I get it, but I want you to marry me first. We can go to the courthouse tomorrow and make it official."

Her hands fell to her lap in disbelief.

Had he lost his mind?! She was in the middle of an existential crisis and he wanted to run to the courthouse? Reconciling with the idea of marriage at such an early age had been difficult enough, but now there was the pressing matter of relocating her identity. It hardly seemed the time for life-altering decisions.

"No. I'm sorry Lucas but I'm not going to marry you. Not like this."

He nodded with clenched jaw, his handsome face forming hard angles.

"So, you love me, but not enough to marry me?" he spat. His pain melting into white hot anger.

"That's not fair!" she shouted, backing away from him.

"You know what's not fair Riley?" He demanded, pushing himself off the bed. "It's not fair for me to have to push you into every step forward we take. It's not fair for you say you want to marry me and then ask me to wait around for however long while you go out looking for whatever it is you need to find. It's not fair you made me promises you clearly have no intention of keeping!"

His intentions hit her like a bucket of cold water. This proposal wasn't about love. It was about ownership. He wanted to stake his claim before she went back to New York because he didn't trust her to stay with him on her own. She wanted to scream or to fight, but how could she? How could they be trusted to last a lifetime, if they lacked the confidence to survive the year?

"You're right," she sighed as she slid off the ring. "It's not fair of me to ask you to wait, so I'm not going to."

She took his hand in hers and placed the symbol of their life together into his palm, closing his fingers around it.

"That's not what I meant Riley." They stood face to face now, the tension replaced with a devastating understanding of the event as it was happening. Riley and Lucas, the second generation Cory and Topanga, were a breath away from calling it quits.

He wanted to take it back. He'd been hurt and angry but he'd been trying to hold onto her not to push her away.

She looked into his emerald green eyes and he saw goodbye written in her dark chocolate orbs.

"I know…" she nodded numbly, "but you're right. You've been so patient and so understanding. And I want so badly to give you everything you want…but I'm not ready…and you are. I can't keep doing this to you. I can't keep hurting you like this. The last thing I want is to lose you, but if I married you right now, it would only be to keep you and that's not a good enough reason. You'd hate me for it…and so would I…

"I don't want to say goodbye." He choked out.

"Then we won't. We'll just say, "I'll be seeing you," like the song.

She tilted her head up and kissed him one last time, drinking in every sensation, committing it to memory; how he felt, how he tasted, the way he'd pull her so close she couldn't breathe. Finally, she pulled away, wishing she could change it but knowing she couldn't.

"I'll be seeing you Lucas." She whispered against his ear.

He clutched her tighter, afraid to let go.

"I'll be seeing you Riley."

* * *

 _Riley was in the kitchen baking cinnamon rolls when she heard his footsteps behind her. With every step he took her heart quickened its pace, until she could feel his body radiating heat against her back. She leaned her head back on his shoulder and peered into those deep green eyes she knew so well._

 _"Good morning," she giggled as he nipped at her shoulder._

 _"Mmm, not all people would call three am morning," he murmured against her skin. She raised her hand to the back of his neck as she greeted him with a kiss._

 _"They would if they knew how to read a clock," she teased._

 _His head shook from side to side, rejecting her argument while his arms encircled her waist._

 _"Nope, you're not off the hook that easy. It's the middle of the night Riley. You need to sleep."_

 _Her lips formed a childlike pout. "I did sleep...for a few hours but then I woke up craving cinnamon rolls. You want one? They're still nice and gooey on the inside."_

 _She practically sang the words._

 _"I'd rather you come back to bed and let me hold you until morning," he whispered against her ear, his hands roaming freely down the front of her nightdress._

 _"But it is morning," she rebutted._

 _Lucas rolled his eyes with a small chuckle as he pulled her closer to him. "I meant later this morning," he kissed her shoulder. "Much later," he elaborated kissing her neck. "When the sun is actually up and the birds are singing." He nibbled on her earlobe._

 _Riley was slowly melting under his advances, releasing little whimpers of pleasure. "Some birds sing at night," she argued trying desperately to distract herself from his assault on her senses._

 _"This is what I get for marrying a lawyer's daughter, isn't it?"_

ERR! ERR! ERR!

"Ugh" Riley groaned as the obnoxious blaring tore her from the sweet torture of her subconscious. Three years later and she was still dreaming of what could have been.

She swatted in the direction of her bedside table, still the noise persisted.

Begrudgingly her eyes opened to glance at the digital clock on her phone.

'Five-thirty," she grumbled as she pulled the covers back, cursing her own ingenuity.

'Now see, if you hadn't moved the clock to the other side of the room you could have hit the snooze and been back asleep by now' she chastised internally. Then she remembered that's exactly what she had been trying to prevent when she'd had the brilliant idea to put it there. She was always making life more difficult for herself.

The brunette grabbed some clothes from the dresser and a towel from the cabinet before tiptoeing to the bathroom for her morning shower. Quietly, she stripped and stepped under the water, hoping to wash the picture of wedded bliss from her memory. It didn't help anyone for her brain to keep going there.

Meanwhile, Maya slid her key in the lock and let herself into Riley's apartment as she did most mornings. She made herself comfortable on a bar stool and laid her head on the counter, using her arms as a pillow. The blonde was many things, but a morning person wasn't one of them.

"Morning" the brunette twittered as she made her way into the kitchen. Maya raised a hand and waved it lazily in response not even bothering to look up until she felt something cold and wet on the back of her neck.

"Aw Riles, seriously!"

Riley giggled as she continued ringing out her wet hair.

"Why are we up? The sun hasn't even gotten out of bed yet so why do we have to?" Maya whined.

"Because I have to get to work and you are the most amazing best friend a girl could ever ask for. I can't thank you enough for doing this."

The sleepy blonde sat up and reached over the counter for a box of packaged muffins.

"Sure you can, in fact you do it too much. You know I don't mind helping you. I actually enjoy it. But don't tell anyone. I've got a reputation to uphold."

Riley smiled as she pulled a mug and tall glass from the cabinet. Maya always tried to downplay her generosity and concern ever since they were kids but Riley had no doubt there was no way she would have survived in this world without her best friend by her side.

She filled the mug with fresh brewed coffee and loaded it with sugar and cream before placing it in front of her friend and pouring some orange juice for herself.

"In that case I will accept your gratitude, as long as it continues to come in the form of caffeine," Maya teased as she took a nice long sip of coffee.

"Deal!" Riley glanced over at the clock on the wall. "I'm going to finish getting ready. Feel free to make yourself at home peaches."

"I always do honey."

Riley rushed back into the bathroom to finish getting dressed. She settled on a basic maroon v neck, some jeans and her flat brown boots. It was one of the benefits of her current job; no dress code. By the time she finished her hair was mostly dry and drawn up in waves. She threw it into a ponytail, a few strands falling carelessly before deeming herself presentable. Finally, she snuck into her room to gather her essentials; careful not to wake Maya, who true to her word had made herself at home in Riley's bed, before hurrying out the door.

Once she'd graduated high school she'd assumed her days of working at the bakery were behind her, yet there she was, five years later, wrestling for a light switch with one hand while balancing her bag and books in the other.

"Haha! I am triumphant," she announced to the empty room flooding with light.

She hung her bag on the arm of the office chair, her books splayed out across the desk, before beginning the morning routine. A smile tugged at her lips as she worked. She and her friends had done a lot of growing up inside those walls. It was home, and apparently part of the universe's plan for her.

Waitressing wasn't her calling in life, that had come a little later, but it was the solution to her dilemma when she'd first returned to the city. Having spent the last two years in Texas, she was considered a citizen of that state and would therefore have to pay a significant amount more for college. She hated putting off her education for another year, but without the funding there was no choice. So instead of enrolling at NYU that fall she joined the ranks among her parents' employees.

Katy, who was now manager, trained her dutifully until she knew the workings of the bakery backward and forward. She was great with the customers but preferred to spend her time in the kitchen. There was something innately peaceful about slipping into her own little world while she was kneading dough or frosting cookies that reminded her of those women in the black and white movies she loved to watch; the ultimate sign of bliss in domesticity.

However, that morning there was a different scene playing in her mind; one of her and Lucas alone, half-naked next to a stove while she tempted him with cinnamon rolls. She shook her head, willing the image away. There was no sense dwelling on fantasies that had never happened or memories that had, especially when there were much more urgent matters to attend to.

* * *

On the other side of town Lucas slowly weaved through the masses making his way to the baggage claim area. It had been at least three years since he'd stepped foot in New York City, but he still knew the layout by hand. As he came up on the conveyor belt he saw swarms of couples, families, and friends reuniting with their loved ones. He walked past them and gathered his duffel bag. Each of those people had something he didn't; someone waiting for them.

Even now he wasn't sure what had brought him back to the city. It wasn't as if he had any solid reason. Sure, New York had been his home at one point, but that was a long time ago. His parents had moved away since then and he'd managed to lose all his childhood friends. Looking back, he supposed that was the danger of dating within the sacred circle. All his friends were her friends too and so when they had gone separate ways he'd gotten their apartment and his ring back while she had gotten Maya, Farkle, and most shockingly of all, Zay.

He had completed his first four years of school in his never-ending endeavor to achieve his dream of veterinary school, but that degree was all he had to show for his life. There was no house with the swing or the wraparound porch. The woman he had expected to spend his life with was gone, and the family they had so often talked and dreamt about was nonexistent.

It wasn't long ago his life made complete and utter sense to him. He'd laid in bed with Riley wrapped around him as they would daydream about their future together. He'd imagined every unforgettable moment with her which he truly believed they would share. How had they lost that?

After she'd left, he'd thrown himself into his studies and the ranch. Occasionally he'd go out with a guy from class or dance with a pretty girl in a bar, but no one ever made a lasting impression. Strange as it sounded he couldn't allow himself to move on without feeling as if he had betrayed Riley and their imaginary children. They were more real than his current reality, and so he'd remained faithful to the ghost of a dream.

Almost three years later and her words still echoed. That awful sensation that had swallowed him whole of listlessness and helplessness...was that how being with him had made her feel?

Regrets and memories raced through his mind as he loaded himself into a cab and checked himself into a hotel. He didn't have anywhere else to stay and he didn't plan on being there long. He only had to see her one last time...to know she was okay. Then maybe he could finally let her go.

Between the sounds of the city and the voices in his head Lucas had no hope of sleeping. He tossed and turned for hours battling with his thoughts. Already he was second-guessing his decision. Perhaps coming there wasn't a good idea after all? All attempts to remain friends after the breakup had quickly frayed. In the end, it was too painful, and they'd both agreed the only viable option was a clean break. What would she say if he showed up on her doorstep after all those years?

What would he say, assuming he could even find her? Sure, she'd come home to find herself, but that was three years ago. A woman as brilliant and amazing as Riley would have the whole world at her feet and an open ticket to a million opportunities. There was no guarantee she was still in the city, and even if she were, he had no way of knowing. She was one of the few people of their generation without social media, or else he'd been blocked. Her number had been changed, and it seemed their friends had all broken up with him too shortly after. He supposed he could wander over to her mother's bakery and see if she showed up there. Her father was busy educating young minds and her mother was likely at the firm. It was a long shot, but the only one he had.

The duration of the afternoon was spent at war with himself. He'd left his hotel with every intention of going to Topanga's but had wound up wandering the city streets instead. His mind played cruel tricks on him, envisioning the numerous ways his plan could go wrong. She could get up and storm out, or worse walk past him like litter on the sidewalk. She could be with someone. The thought alone was enough to make him reach for his neck in jealousy.

'Or she could not be there at all, and this whole trip be for nothing,' a voice hissed in his mind.

The longer he stewed, the more he questioned his motives. It couldn't honestly be about closure. She had given back his ring and cut him out of her life entirely. A book couldn't get more closed than that. There was nothing she could say or do to free him from the nightmare he was living. If she'd handed him written permission to move on, his heart wouldn't obey. He didn't want any reasons or apologies. He wanted hope.

He wanted her.

Lucas boarded the subway, his head hung in defeat. He knew now it was a fool's errand he was on. There was no amount of closure great enough to end the longing of his heart. Nor was there a prayer of winning her back. All he could do was return to Texas and pretend this lapse in judgement never happened. There was only more heartache waiting for him in the city. But just as he was prepared to give up, a guiding hand stepped in, urging him to look over.

There she was, in the middle of the subway car, with her nose in a book. Suddenly, her eyes shifted from the text to the surrounding crowd, a quizzical expression on her face. His breath caught as he fell into her chocolate gaze. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. After a moment, she shook her head, focusing once more on the words in front of her, but she couldn't seem to concentrate, as seconds later she scanned the crowd again. Was she looking for someone?

Her head angled slightly, her bangs falling in her face. She brushed them away with the back of her hand, laughing at her own silliness.

The blonde watched in awe, with new resolve.

He would see her again. He had to.


	2. Chapter 2- Silent Scream

**A/N: First, and foremost, thank you so much for your support and understanding! The decision to restructure this story was not made lightly. I struggled with it for months. I searched for any other way to get this story back on track. Sadly, there wasn't one, but I have to admit I have fallen in love with this rewrite and hope that you will enjoy it as much as I have.**

 **For those who expressed their concerns, I completely understand your hesitance, but I would like to address them for clarification. When I said this second draft is quicker paced, what I should have said was each chapter of this rewrite covers roughly four chapters of the original story. Which means in 18 chapters (including the two already posted) we should be roughly where we left off, and on our way to our happy ending!**

Riley stirred awake a little after eight, marveling at the sunlight peeking through her blinds as she slept. She couldn't remember the last time the sun had risen before she had. At least two years, she guessed, stretching leisurely with a yawn. This morning she didn't have to strain her ears for sounds coming from the next room. She didn't have to tip toe through the hall to get to the shower. She was alone. Relief washed over her for about ten seconds before evaporating into discontent. As much as she wanted to be grateful for the peace, she'd grown accustomed to the noise and chaos that came with her daily routine. Without it, she was lost.

Still, she tried to make the most of the gift she'd been given. It was a rare occasion she had the chance to sit and nurse her orange juice in pajamas for half an hour or sing in the shower without obsessing about her volume. She could disrobe in the living room if she felt like, no one would ever know. And so, she did them all, simply because she could.

Though her new-found privileges weren't enough to distract from the puzzle in her mind. She'd tried to dismiss the strange sensation that had followed her off the subway earlier that week. Stress or exhaustion could have easily contributed to her state of mind, and finals week was chocked to the brim with both. But now her classes were complete, her grades posted, and still that feeling lingered. It was like waking from a dream she couldn't remember.

Whatever the answer, it would have to wait. Katy had volunteered to swap shifts, giving the brunette a chance to sleep in after a long semester of hard work and late nights, but she still had to go in and work that afternoon. She donned her favorite sundress, A sleeveless navy blue, with coral flowers and pockets on each side, quickly weaved her dark tresses into a messy fishtail braid, and headed out to relieve her boss and friend for the day.

Riley's head titled curiously as she entered the bakery and worked the strings of her apron. She'd arrived in just enough time to prepare for the dinner rush, though judging by the quiet coming from the next room she might have an easier night ahead than anticipated. She went to clock in on the office computer, but it wouldn't grant her access.

"Katy, the check in app is on the fritz again, it's saying we're closed today?"

Her manager smiled knowingly at the room full of people eagerly awaiting their guest of honor.

"Shake a leg, Riley. We don't have all day," she shouted.

The brunette forced a her features into the cheery disposition she'd wear the remainder of the evening and grabbed the closest serving tray and order pad she could find before rushing toward the main area, no doubt filled with impatient customers.

"Surprise!" They all exclaimed as she made her grand entrance, shuffling backward a step as her tray hit the floor. Embarrassed, her focus fell to its resting place.

"I'll pay for that." She insisted, still in a daze.

Maya pranced forward, and slung an arm around her best friend.

The blonde laughed with a playful smirk.

"We can't even take you to your own surprise party without you making a mess," she teased.

Riley's uncle Shawn, who'd flown in the night before just for this special occasion, broke from the crowd to join the girls.

"Could have been worse," he offered with a shrug. "Could have been the cake."

She squealed with glee at the sight of her father's best friend, wrapping her arms around him in an enthusiastic hug. As they pulled apart, she glanced around the room, admiring their gesture. Colorful streamers hung from the ceiling along with a large banner her kid brother and his girlfriend no doubt had a hand in which read "Congratulations Riley" in bright purple letters. The counter was laden with party snacks and a large sheet cake with sparklers planted round the frame. Most importantly, everyone she held dear to her heart, from regular customers to close family and friends, were present.

Well…almost everyone.

Before she could express her concern, the blonde shoved her gently toward her parents with a playful hip bump. Both of which were glowing with pride.

"You guys didn't have to do all this."

She embraced them both in tight, grateful hugs, reluctant to let go.

"I didn't," Cory pointed toward his wife. "She did."

Topanga swatted her husband on the shoulder, her stern expression cracking into a smile.

Of course, Riley knew better. Her father had always been the more sentimental of the two.

"This is just our way of showing you how proud we are of you, and the amazing young woman you've become."

Maya backed away slowly, allowing the Mathews family to have their warm and fuzzy moment alone. As much as she loved them, she didn't belong there. This was a celebration of her best friend and her unconquerable optimism. The party was symbol for accomplishment in the face of adversity. None of which did she feel qualified to claim as an art school drop-out who spent most days in her childhood bestie's apartment.

"Hey there gorgeous," a familiar masculine voice called from behind.

The blonde greeted him with a smirk and mischievous twinkle.

"Some shindig, huh Boing?"

It was useless small talk; safe, simple, and exactly how the best friend of one's niece should respond.

He hated the small talk, the pretense. He missed the old days when she'd been obvious with her intentions. His had been clear from the beginning.

"Yeah, it's great." He ran a hand through his thick, wavy hair. Something he only did when he was nervous.

He gazed briefly around the room before settling on the vision before him. Gorgeous was an understatement. Even in her jean shorts and tribal tank top she was breathtaking. Her hair hung in loose waves, framing her face.

Instinctively, his hand reached out to brush it back. She didn't pull away, but she did glance anxiously around.

"Relax, no one's watching us," he assured. "All eyes are on the guest of honor."

* * *

Lucas stood outside the bakery, peering into the world of his long-lost love. He'd once belonged there. Now he gawked on the sidelines as she glided through the room, from one cluster of guests to the next. Her smile was warm, timid; only a fraction of its true radiance. Still, he marveled at its beauty as she blushed, tucking back her hair.

He grinned as she made an exaggerated expression with her hands, nearly knocking the drink out of a stranger's hand. She was still adorable. Stunning too. How could he have ever believed that seeing her would release him from her spell? If anything, he'd only been pulled further under.

His eyes fell to the concrete.

Standing there, basking in her glow, all his courage fled. What had seemed so clear after their encounter on the subway was blurring into anxious fear. She had returned home shattered and from all appearances, had managed to put the pieces of her life back together without him. Did he have the right to threaten whatever peace she had found? He wasn't sure. One thing he knew for certain was that he wouldn't be welcome to join the guest list if her father had anything to say about it.

He couldn't have looked away more than a few seconds, but when he lifted his head back to the window, Riley was no longer alone. Maya and Josh had come to join her. There was also a man he didn't recognize. He looked to be a few years older; tall, with dark hair and no sense for boundaries when it came to the lovely brunette beside him.

Lucas flinched as he watched the stranger wrap a muscular arm around her shoulders, not that she seemed to mind, as he pulled her closer. She tilted her head back into the crook of his arm, laughing at something one of them had said. What he wouldn't give to on the other side of that window, holding his fiancée, hearing her laugh again.

'Ex fiancée,' that wicked voice in his head corrected.

 _Riley sat across the table from him, silently nursing her mug of coffee. After two excruciating weeks of living in the same apartment while she made arrangements, the day had finally come. Everything she owned was packed up in boxes in the back of a truck sitting in the driveway they had shared for the last year and a half._

 _He too sat in silence, wracking his brain for something, anything, he could say that would change this. There had to be a way to take back his selfish words and remind her who they were to each other, how much they needed one another._

" _I'll stay."_

 _Had she known what he was going to say? Had she been thinking the same thoughts? She peered up from the still brown pool of liquid in her cup, her eyes dark and desperate._

" _What?" It was the only response his baffled mind could muster._

 _She hugged the steaming mug to her chest like a life preserver._

" _I'll stay," she repeated, this time with an edge of urgency._

" _That's what you want right? For me to stay? If it's now or never, then I choose now. I don't want never. I'm not ready for now but I can't handle never, Lucas!"_

 _The words came tumbling out of her mouth in jumbled mess. Tears trickled down her face as she fought to regain composure. He could see by the pained expression in her eyes she wished she hadn't said the words. But she had, and now the ball was in court._

 _One word and they could unload the truck and put that ring back on her finger. One word and everything in his world would be right again._

" _No."_

 _The brunette tensed at his monosyllabic rejection. Her eyes flooding with pain and fear._

 _He reached out to touch her before remembering why he shouldn't. Her silken flesh against his fingertips made his heart ache. He didn't want never, but he couldn't pretend not to see the battle waging within her. Neither of them would ever truly be happy if he said the words he wanted._

" _I love you Riley…" The words stung on the tip of his tongue. "so much, but you aren't ready, and I'm not sure you're ever going to be."_

 _Her lip quivered against his hand._

 _He hadn't understood when she meant the night she slid his ring off her finger, but he did now. She was right. No matter how much they loved one another, they were causing each other pain, and it had to stop._

" _I can be ready. I want to be your wife…please let me be your wife," she begged._

 _How many times had he said similar words to her? He'd lost count. It was the all he wanted. The dream of her walking toward him in a white dress had eclipsed every other, and there he was about to throw away his last chance to make it a reality._

" _You have to go. You need this." He put on his bravest face but the tears rimming his eyes gave him away. "More than you need me. I can't marry you."_

 _She nodded, wiping the tears from her face. He couldn't even remember her sitting the mug down._

 _Why did they have to balance one another so well? Why did he have to be the sensible one when she was finally swept away in the moment? Why couldn't she have gotten caught up in it all those times he pled with her before?_

 _Riley placed her hand over his, tangling their fingers together, with a weak smile._

" _I really do love you. I hope you know that."_

 _A throaty noise escaped as he swallowed it all down; the loss, the sorrow, the agonizing fear of his existence without her._

" _I know. I love you too."_

 _His emerald gaze settled on their hands. Once she pulled away he would never have this again._

" _Nothing's ever gonna change that, Riley."_

Had he chosen differently she would have been his wife by now. Instead he was standing on the other side of the glass, an intruder to the life she'd built for herself. He was wrong to come back. His place in her life had long ago been forfeited. He was foolish to think she would still be holding onto him after all those years.

Lucas wanted to leave, but he forced himself to stand there and take the pain. He needed it. Needed the image of the two of them together burned into his brain so there wouldn't be a next time. He would have no choice but to let her go.

Riley's head tilted, confusion on her face as she glanced around the room. That strange unnamable feeling from the subway teased her senses once more. Outside Lucas observed. Despite what he was seeing, his heart leapt from his chest to his throat. Hope bubbled from the depths of his soul, the hope that somehow, she could feel him there.

Before he could remind himself why that thought was stupid and false, a little girl came barreling into the room. Her dark, thick hair bounced as she ran, an enthusiastic grin lighting her face. As Riley knelt down to catch her daughter in her arms, Lucas's entire world went dark.

* * *

"Dude, hurry up! We're already running late!"

Zay powerwalked down the sidewalk while Farkle trailed behind.

"Dude!" The word felt foreign and wrong coming from the boy genius, all grown. "I'm moving as fast as I can. But perhaps if I lengthen my stride," he mused, and with a few wide steps, crashed into his friend's back.

For someone who was in such a rush, he seemed oddly immobile.

"I thought you were in a hurry," he huffed, but Zay only waved his hands wildly in his hands while making a shushing noise. His eyes were fixed on the blonde, muscular man hovering in front of the bakery window.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" He whispered over his shoulder.

Farkle shifted positions to study whatever had caught his companion's attention. Immediately, he knew what he was seeing. He just couldn't believe it.

"Unless you and I have reached Riley, Maya status, and now share thoughts and hallucinations, then yes."

Zay turned to the brunette, wearing the same expression he had the day he'd learned what a "Farkle" was.

"We're close, but we ain't that close."

Maya and Riley had been reading one another's minds since they were little girls. Farkle was his brother from another mother, but rarely did he understand the words coming out of his mouth, let alone the workings of his brain. The closest he'd ever come to that kind of friendship was with the man standing a few feet in front of him, but that was another lifetime ago. He couldn't think about that right now.

"What should we do?"

The image of a younger Lucas tearing his towel covered wrists from Topanga's counter flashed through his mind. He'd learned long ago it was pointless to stand between the fellow Texan and those he cared for, and in all the time they'd known each other, Lucas had never cared for anyone as much as the woman on the other side of that glass. If Friar was determined to see her, there was little he or Farkle could do about it.

"How should I know, you're the genius!" he whispered pointedly.

Farkle fought the urge to roll his eyes. Yes, he had an abnormally high IQ and amazing mental faculties. That didn't mean he had every answer to the universe, and found it slightly annoying his friends often thought otherwise.

"Well, we'd better do something fast. If he goes in there Riley will freak!"

Zay nodded with a shudder.

"I don't even want to think about what Maya might do."

She was just over five feet, and 110 lbs soaking wet, but she could be very intimidating when she wanted and if she saw Lucas Friar anywhere near Riley Mathews? Well, God have mercy on him, because Maya would not!

The brunette grimaced in unspoken agreement. They had no choice but to intervene.

Lucas stood, numb yet aching, listening to his two former friends bickering from the corner, but he couldn't comprehend a word they were saying. Most likely, they were discussing his inconvenient presence and how best to remove him as an obstacle. Not that it mattered now. He'd lost Riley's love and their friendship years before. There was nothing there for him anymore.

The two grown men squabbled from a distance about which one of them should approach the stranger who had once been their friend. Neither wanted to add insult to Lucas's injury, but protecting Riley had to be the priority. Even if it meant protecting her from him.

Zay reluctantly stepped forward with a forced grin.

"H-Hey, buddy, long time no see."

Lucas scoffed, his eyes following Riley as she chased her daughter through the bakery.

"We're not buddies," he grumbled, scratching the back of his neck in an agitated manner.

Zay grinned wider, but it wasn't a friendly smile. It was awkward and trying way too hard.

"Sure, we are man." He almost tapped him on the shoulder but thought better of it.

He didn't have to talk to Lucas or spend the last few years with him to know when he looked ready to kick a tree.

The blonde cocked his head toward his childhood friend.

"You think I don't know why you're here?"

Lucas shifted his gaze from Zay to Farkle.

"Neither of you are here for me. You haven't been since…" Since the breakup. "I get that the bottom line was being there for her. I'm glad that she had you guys. But I needed you too! In a matter of months, I lost everyone who mattered to me!"

Zay turned sharply toward his accuser, blazing with indignation. Adrenaline raced through his system, releasing a rage he hadn't even known was there. He felt as though he were growing; taller, stronger, more intimidating, and just when he felt as though he'd explode from the sensation, he shoved the blonde back forcefully.

"Are you kidding me?!" He burst out, reeling from the strange euphoria which had replaced the feeling of stretching limbs. "Man, you're the one who bailed!"

Farkle observed from the sidelines. He knew he should put an end to the scene playing out before him, but the fraction of him living vicariously through the aggressor wasn't ready just yet.

"You wanna cry victim after what you did to her?!" Zay pointed through the window, snapping the genius from his vengeful fantasies.

Lucas's fingers curled, forming a fist against his will.

"What I did to her?!" He shot back angrily.

What had he done that was so terrible? Loved her? Asked her to marry him? Let her go and respected her wishes when she'd asked for a clean break? He'd done everything Riley Mathews had ever asked of him, and yet somehow it still wasn't enough. How had he become the villain of their story?

They were seconds away from coming to blows when Farkle stepped in. Personally, he'd enjoy seeing Isaiah Babineaux pummel Lucas Friar after everything he'd done, but with one wrong punch either one of those men could go flying through Topanga's window, and he couldn't let that happen.

"Guys," he gripped the shoulder of each man, "there's obviously some hard feelings on all sides here." His emphasis on all was not lost on either of the two. "But this is neither the place or time to get into it."

Lucas was the first to relent. Secretly he was grateful for the intervention. He hadn't wanted to hurt his old friend, it was only a trick of his temper. Had he followed through with that punch he'd have regretted it the rest of his life.

Zay wasn't so quick to let go. His nostrils flared as he stared down his opponent. Despite the truth of Farkle's words, he was still angry. He'd never let himself get angry about it before. Confused? Absolutely! Disappointed? Without a doubt. But he had always managed a safe distance from the personal aspect of Lucas's betrayal. He'd gotten plenty upset for Riley's sake, but he'd never given himself that right. Until now.

"Yeah, fine," he waved dismissively toward the object of his wrath.

Farkle groaned inwardly, almost wishing he hadn't interfered. By doing so, he'd laid a heavy burden on himself.

"You go on in," he gestured to Zay. "I can handle this.

Both were desperate to escape this awkward situation, but Zay had another reason for needing to be at that party. Besides, there were things he wanted to say to Friar before he put him on the closest transit out of state.

Zay's expression softened as he nodded in thanks. One look at Lucas, however, and that glimmer of camaraderie was gone.

The blonde turned his attention to Farkle, who was guarding the entrance.

"So now what," he asked with a shrug. "You gonna pull a spider out of your pocket or something?"

Lucas hadn't actually been there to witness that event but Riley had told him all about it.

"Don't tempt me," the brunette snapped while he led Lucas from the window.

The first order of business was to get him as far away from Riley as possible.

* * *

Farkle found himself oddly tongue-tied. For years he'd imagined the lashing he'd give pretty boy Friar if he ever dared to show his face again. Only now that he was here, the genius didn't want retribution. He wanted an explanation. He wanted to know how they all could have been so wrong about the outsider they'd let into their world.

"I was gonna leave, ya know." Lucas mumbled as they walked."

A smirk formed on his lips as the brunette swiveled his head in his direction. It felt nice being studied by him once again. Familiar.

"Why didn't you?"

It was a fair question, and one he hadn't been able to stop asking himself.

"I don't know. "He shrugged with a sigh. "I saw her with that guy and I thought I should go, but then her daughter ran in and I just froze."

That was the opening the genius had been waiting for, but he couldn't take the shot. His gears were too busy grinding on the words "her daughter."

When Farkle failed to speak, Lucas continued, uneasy with the silence.

"She looks good." His eyes fell to his feet. "Happy."

He nearly choked on that last part. Though he would never wish someone he loved pain, part of him had been hoping that she'd been missing him too all those years alone. He'd wished that his return would bring her happiness. Instead she'd found it on her own. Without him.

The brunette still wasn't sure how to respond.

"You know Riley. She makes the most of what she's got."

Lucas nodded with a breathy chuckle.

"With a smile on her face," he added.

Riley's little girl flashed through his mind again, another question forming.

"How old is she?"

This question reignited Farkle's need for answers.

"Why would you care?" He accused harshly.

Lucas flinched at the question. Why did he? What good could possibly come from learning about her child with another man?

Instinctively his finger scratched the back of his neck. The thought of Riley with someone else had always had that effect on him.

"Look, I'm glad that she's happy, and I have no intention of messing that up for her…but…" he staggered, searching for the right words. "I don't know. What if it were Smackle? I mean, you'd respect her right to move on, but wouldn't you want to know when she stopped loving you?"

He kicked a nearby lamp post.

"She couldn't have been more than a few years old…I know Riley would never cheat…and she hardly ever lies…but it just doesn't add up. If she really loved me the way she said she did…how could she leave me? How could she give herself to someone else like that?"

Farkle was flabbergasted! After years of wondering, he was finally beginning to understand what had happened. The truth was they hadn't been wrong about Lucas. His love for Riley and his decency were both genuine all along, and he'd been devastated by their breakup. So much so that he had to erase every link to her once he'd lost her. He'd never received a single message or letter they'd sent. The relief of that knowledge was short lived as he thought of Riley and how this news would alter her "happy" existence.

"You're right," he conceded, leading Lucas in the opposite direction he'd originally planned.

"If it were me, I'd want to know everything."

* * *

The party was dying down, and many of the guests had already gone. While Riley went around the room playing hostess, Maya took the opportunity to pull Zay aside for further interrogation. Neither of his friends had been fooled by his act, but at least the brunette had the consideration not to pry. He couldn't say the same for his "sort of, almost, but not really," girlfriend.

"Alright, what's going on with you?"

Any other time he would have been glad to be alone with her, but at present he was still tightly wound, and the lovely blonde had a habit of pushing too hard. It was a dangerous combination.

"Nothing," he slurped from his plastic cup while she eyed him suspiciously.

She wasn't an idiot, nor was she blissfully naïve. Zay, the guy who never got upset about anything, looked ready to put his fist through a wall, and Farkle, who was arguably the most devoted friend on the planet, was mysteriously absent. Neither seemed like good omens.

Maya would have stayed and continued to press her luck, but Riley signaled her from across the room.

"Fine Babineaux," she clapped her hands against her legs. "Keep your secrets for now."

She stood up and ran her fingers along the collar of his shirt before fisting it in her hand, pulling his face closer to her own.

"Just remember, I have ways of making you talk."

She kinked her eyebrow for emphasis before disappearing into the crowd, leaving Zay shaking his head with an amused smirk.

People had plenty of opinions about his arrangement with Maya Hart, but no one could ever call it boring.

His eyes followed her across the room to where she met Riley and the Mathews family. Well, not all the family. Josh was floating somewhere around the bakery, no doubt keeping a respectful distance while waiting his turn. Maybe he should feel something about that, but it was difficult to think of him as a competitor when neither had treated one another as such. If anything, he'd come to think of him as a friend.

"Hey man," Mathews appeared, clapping his shoulder blade. "Sorry we had to start the party without you."

Zay forced a playful grin.

"Well you know the party don't start til I walk in."

Josh's brows knit together, stifling a chuckle.

"Did you just quote Kesha?"

The suggestion alone brought a mental shudder, yet as he thought about it he knew he couldn't deny the claim. Technically, he had.

Both men stared one another down a second before bursting out in laughter.

"I guess I did man," He considered telling Josh everything. As Riley's uncle, wasn't it his job to help protect her?

His eyes drifted across the room to Riley and her daughter once more.

Misinterpreting Zay's distraction, Josh nodded with a knowing look.

"It's getting harder, isn't it?"

Zay sat stunned, unsure of what to say. Unsure how much to say. Thankfully, while he was grasping for words his phone began to vibrate. He reached into his pocket and examined the text with a sigh.

"You have no idea," he muttered,

Josh had an idea, or rather he thought he did. After all, when it came to Maya Hart they were both in the same boat. Had Zay wanted to talk about it, he'd have listened, but it was clear he wasn't comfortable discussing their most common thread. Not that he could blame him. No matter how civil they were to one another, deep down, they knew eventually she would choose and one of them would lose her. He didn't want to talk about that either.

So instead he gave an understanding smile and a wave before giving Zay some space.

According to Zay, Farkle had missed the entire party. Admittedly, he was disappointed. This was a special day for Riley and he wanted to be there for her. Still, he'd enjoyed reconnecting with his old friend over the last couple of hours. Turned out, he wasn't the only one there to seek answers. Lucas had a lot of questions too, which he'd done his best to fill in the blanks for the most part. There were some details he left out, thinking they'd come better from the original source.

Half an hour later they turned the corner and Lucas stalled when the bakery came into view. This time Riley could be seen, alone, dancing across the bakery floor in the most animated manner. Standing there, a reel of similar memories played through his mind. It wasn't the first time he'd caught her performing.

Farkle detected the shift in the blonde's expression with pride. Seeing that goofy smile confirmed he'd done the right thing.

The corner of Lucas's mouth quirked upward with clarity.

"You're lifting the ban?"

The genius nodded, extending his hand.

"Won't the committee have something to say about that?"

Of course, they would! Many somethings, that would probably be spoken very loudly and with violent hand gestures, but he'd worry about that when the time came.

"Probably," he shrugged. "I trust you'll do the right thing."

Lucas smiled and the two men shook hands.

Once Riley and Lucas were alone in the bakery, Farkle pulled out his phone and sent a mass text to Zay and Maya. It felt strange excluding Isadora, but she was a world away and completely ignorant to the changes happening in their own. Even if he could tell her, there was little help she could offer long distance. Both he and the news would be waiting when she returned. Assuming Maya and Zay didn't kill him for what he'd just done.

* * *

It had taken some arm twisting, but Riley had finally convinced her friends and family to let her stay after and pick up the bakery. Though she'd enjoyed the party, she was drained from the endless smiling and nodding required of her role as guest of honor and hostess, and happy to have the place to herself. Happily, she set the playlist and shuffled and twirled her way across the floor as she worked.

Her mother had insisted on taking down the decorations and clearing the tables herself. All that remained was the floor and daily business preparations. Her broom made the perfect dance partner as she glided, sweeping as she went. A playful twirl around the dustpan and the music led her straight into the arms of the man who haunted her dreams and nightmares. Only this time she wasn't waking up.


	3. Chapter 3- Everchanging

**A/N: Thank you so much for your kind words and generous views. I know there was a problem with the Chapter Two email alert, but I did keep my word and post as promised. As you may have noticed in the second chapter this is where the details of this story began to shift from the original work, but the important details are still the same. This is the last update I will make until Tuesday after Christmas. Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, and is ready to return for Chapter Four Tuesday!**

Isaiah Babineaux waited outside the apartment when Maya came up behind him. Her hair was mussed and her lipstick smeared. Clearly, she and Josh had been having a fun time on their date when she'd received Farkle's text. Not that he had the time or inclination to dwell on that image long. There were more pressing matters to deal with, like the person they'd stumbled on outside the bakery earlier.

The blonde bounced on the balls of her feet impatiently before charging forward. Her tiny fist pounded the door.

"I just did that," he mumbled but she wasn't listening. Her mind was already busy planning all the ways she would make Minkus pay for interrupting her evening.

"This better be good," She grumbled. "I was in the middle of pretty hot make-out session when-"

He tried to hide the flinch, but she saw it.

Silence fell between them as she gnawed on the corner of her lip.

That was the sticky part about their situation. They were friends, but they were also more. And she was so comfortable confiding in her friend Zay that sometimes she forgot to censor subjects that might hurt him as her more than friend. It was all very confusing!

"Sorry."

Zay stared straight ahead. Suddenly eager to put distance between them, he banged repeatedly on the door. The sooner Farkle arrived and let them in, the sooner they would have something less awkward to focus on.

Maya pulled her keyring from her pocket and began rummaging through the individual keys until she found what she was looking for.

Zay watched quizzically as she slipped the key into the slot and gave it a turn.

"What are you, the gatekeeper?"

The blonde shrugged with an impish grin.

"Do you want in or not," she countered as she stepped inside.

He resisted at first. Letting himself into a friend's apartment didn't exactly seem the polite way to enter. It was just a notch below climbing through the window like a burglar. However, it also seemed silly to stand there on the doorstep when his companion had already unlocked the door and made herself at home on the sofa.

Begrudgingly he stepped through the frame.

"Did they at least give it to you, or did you help yourself to a copy?"

She smiled wider, her expression saying it all.

"Oh, she has keys to everyone's place." Farkle chuckled from behind. "Even yours."

The man's mouth fell open as he processed this information.

"I didn't give you a key." His voice shot up in octave.

Farkle was tempted to let the current subject run its course, knowing the conversation was about to take a turn for the worst. He also knew it had to be done, not just as the protection squad, but as people who had once been friends with Lucas as well.

"What's so important that it couldn't wait til tomorrow Minkus?" She raised a brow in suspicion.

Or at least until after Riley's party.

The genius rocked slightly on his heels, instead turning his gaze toward Zay.

This only spurred her further.

"I knew it! She leapt from her seat with a growl. "I knew there was something going on when you didn't show up! What's going on?"

The two exchanged a glance of caution. Neither wanted to be the one to tell her.

"One of you better say something," she demanded.

Zay, "let me tell you a good story" Babineaux was, of course, the first to break.

"Lucas was here," He lifted his hands in defense for the sucker punch that would surely follow.

"Simmer down, spitfire! Its fine. I saw him, I shoved him, and Farkle sent him on his way, right man?"

They both turned toward the brunette for confirmation who cringed under their scrutiny.

"I…may…have sent him back to the bakery after the party."

He took a step back from his friends as his announcement set in.

"You did what?!" They shrieked in unison.

Farkle took another step back, which did him little good since they were advancing toward him. Maya was staring him down with that "I'm going to cause you pain and I'm going to enjoy it" look he knew so well. Zay was dumbfounded, understandably so.

"Dude! Why would you do that?"

The blonde should have been ready to pummel her favorite little know it all within an inch of his life, but something was distracting her. Her first was reared back and aimed straight for the genius's arm, but her attention drifted back to the man standing behind her.

"You really shoved him?"

She'd never tried to imagine Zay losing his temper before, but the picture sent a warm shiver through her. His bashful "Well, yeah," only intensified the heat licking her veins.

"That's kinda hot." Her tone was teasing, but sensual.

Farkle was queasy listening to what now sounded like a rather intimate conversation.

"Okay first of all, ew! Zay blanched at the comment. Maya was shameless. "Second of all, I get why you're upset but hear me out." He pleaded.

"I love Riley just as much as both of you. I'd never do anything to hurt her, and if it had happened the way we thought, I'd have sent him packing, but it didn't. Guys, he has no idea! Or at least he didn't…. he might by now."

The petite blonde punched his arm again.

"She's gonna freak! You know that, right?"

The brunette's words were like cold water to Zay. Lucas had been his best friend. He'd raised his hand to his best friend, and it wasn't what they thought.

He placed his hands on her shoulders, forcing her to stop and think.

"They're both gonna lose it."

That was the one fact all three could agree on. There was nothing left to do but man their stations and wait for updates.

* * *

Riley was paralyzed. Her mind raced. Had she somehow fallen asleep while sweeping the bakery floor? Had her body finally crippled under the strain of motherhood, work, and finals, leaving her victim to her subconscious imaginings? That was the only logical explanation for what she was seeing. Though it didn't account for kinetic energy pulsing through her. That only came from proximity with one person.

"Lucas," she breathed in disbelief.

Two hours before he'd thought the closest he would ever be to her was standing on the opposite side of a window, staring in at what might have been. Now he was there, face to face, and overwhelmed by her presence.

Anxiously, she brushed her bangs from her eyes- those dark chocolate eyes that could cut him to the core

"Hi." Her smile was stiff, forced, but not insincere. Whatever misunderstandings were between them, she appeared genuinely happy he was there.

"Hi," he echoed, unsure how to proceed.

He released her waist from his grip, apologizing for his lingering limbs.

While he was in the middle of stuttering an apology, the dream shifted into a nightmare as realization dawned. Her daughter was sleeping in the back office, mere feet away from where they were standing. She couldn't afford to fall into old habits.

"Can I get you something?" Her voice was higher, bouncier, more suitable to customer service now.

Her shields went up and she fell into her second default; waitressing. Riley dashed back toward the counter, groping for some use to make of her hands.

"How about some coffee?" She stepped toward the pot before remembering she was off duty and unprepared for company of any kind. "Or not…you know they just had a big party today. I'm sure there's some leftovers if you'll just give me a second to check," she rattled on nervously as her eyes darted frequently to the office door.

Lucas reached out, laying his hand over hers. It was a gesture that had always calmed her in the past, but as he looked into her eyes all he could see was fear.

"It's okay, Riley. I'll go if you really want me to." His thumb made circles against her skin.

"I just needed to see you…"

The longing in his eyes was more than she could take. Why did he have to be there now? And why did she have to revert into her walking spastic former self every time she got near him? She wasn't that girl anymore.

"Why?"

A small cry erupted from the backroom, sending Riley into high alert. Lucas released her hand as the pitter patter of little feet came closer until the little girl took off in a run for her mother's arms. Finally safe, she nuzzled against Riley's shoulder while she hummed a song that brought back the most bittersweet memories.

He'd always known she would be an incredible mom, but seeing her with her daughter reminded him once again that he was intruding on her life. He had no place there.

"I think I should go," he whispered, careful not to wake the sleeping child.

Riley hugged her daughter closer, avoiding his gaze.

"Maybe you should."

Her answer shouldn't have shocked him. If even he was aware how out of place he was, she had to be. Still, it hurt to hear her confirm what he already knew.

"She looks just like you." A half-hearted smile crept across his face.

He didn't have it in him to say goodbye to her. He couldn't say "I'll be seeing you" this time either. So he chose to leave it there. For the rest of his life he would remember the image of Riley with that little girl in her arms. That's how he would always see her now. As a mother.

She looked down at the toddler sleeping in her arms. If he walked out that door now, they might never see him again. Didn't she owe it to her child to at least try one last time?

"She has your eyes." The brunette called out just loud enough to be heard.

Lucas stumbled into a nearby table. His thoughts moved at light speed, yet he couldn't form a coherent response. Instead he turned toward the woman with the sleeping child in her arms, trying to reconcile the picture in front of him with the words she'd just spoken.

The clatter jarred the sleeping toddler awake.

Timidly he stepped closer, lost in those slumberous green spheres that resembled his own.

From his first glance of the child, he'd been heartbroken. After three long years of mourning the loss of not only Riley, but the marriage and family that never was, this innocent little girl running through the bakery had confirmed his worst fear. He'd barely been able to look at her, now he couldn't look away. Nor could he stop himself from reaching out.

Was it possible that dream hadn't slipped through his fingers, after all?

His hand dropped, a breath away from touching her.

It was too good to be true. And too awful! Had there been a child, surely, he would have known. Something inside him would have shifted or changed, alerting him to her existence. He had to believe that. Otherwise there was no bond between them.

The brunette watched his face; the flutters of anticipation in her stomach knotted into dread.

Maybe she should have let him walk out the door. It might have been best for everyone if they had never acknowledged the common thread that was their daughter, but she couldn't do that. She couldn't believe that Lucas wouldn't want to know their little girl. No matter how many letters returned unopened or calls went unanswered, she had clung to the hope that there had to be some other explanation for why he'd stayed away.

She clung tighter to the child squirming in her embrace.

"Please say something."

His gaze jerked from his daughter's face to Riley's.

The fear in her dark shining orbs mirrored her plea for words. But what could he say? Apologies and questions flooded his mind but he couldn't get them past his tongue.

He stared back at her; lost and uncertain. She'd imagined this conversation more times than she'd care to admit over the years and had thought her imaginings had run the gamut from best to worst. But standing there she realized this was the worst. Because no matter how she tried, she couldn't read him. The man standing in front of her was a stranger, and she'd just given him claim to the most important person in her world.

This time when he reached out Riley pulled back.

"You know what," she shifted the toddler in her arms from one side to the other. She was half awake and growing whiny. "on second thought, we should probably get home. It's getting late and I uh…I really can't do this right now."

Lucas felt sick.

She was scared, that much he could see. And their daughter kept looking back at him like the stranger he was. He didn't want them to go. He had so much to ask, to say, to apologize for. But Riley didn't seem to want to hear any of it.

"You're right," he rubbed the back of his neck. "We shouldn't do this tonight."

She nodded, forcing a smile.

Lucas had given her an out, and she was grateful. But she wasn't naïve. Sooner or later, they would have to talk, and if this Lucas was anything like the one she had grown up with, he wouldn't wait long.

* * *

"Look at that, aint nobody home. Guess that means we should go." Zay pointed back toward the staircase.

Maya chuckled at the suggestion as if it were a joke.

Farkle trailed behind from what he considered a safe distance. The two might be united in a common cause at the moment, but she'd made no effort to hide her outrage since the big reveal back at his place. Not that he would expect her to. The blonde had never been one for hiding her emotions.

"Maybe Zay's right, maybe this is a bad idea."

This earned him another frightening smile that promised pain in the near future.

"Well if you'd have kept your mouth shut, none of us would have to be here."

She growled, removing the ring of keys from her pocket and swinging it around her finger.

Zay examined each key as she thumbed through them, until she passed one that held a startling resemblance to his own.

"Is that-" he sputtered, pointing to the key in question. "I'm gonna want that back!"

She shrugged innocently, letting herself in.

"Whatever you say, Hank," she smirked in the dark.

Zay flipped the switch next to the door, filling the room with light.

"That's not my name!"

Farkle chuckled, following them in. It didn't take a genius to realize Maya only called him that to push his buttons. It was a specialty of hers.

"You're too easy Babineaux, she teased, lifting herself onto the kitchen bar.

Zay wiped his mouth to cover his boastful grin.

"You weren't complaining last week."

The brunette grimaced as he positioned himself as far from the blonde as possible.

"That joke was a lot less gross before you two started doing…" images he didn't want began to flood his oversized brain. "Whatever it is you do."

Maya didn't blanch under the accusation, but Zay did.

That was always the reaction. No one doubted Farkle and Smackle's relationship, and until Lucas had gone MIA during the pregnancy, no one had questioned whether he and Riley would make it. Yet when he and Maya crossed that line together, it was somehow gross or wrong. He couldn't understand why two pairs of soulmates from the same group of friends seemed perfectly acceptable, but the idea of three was absurd. Not that he'd go so far as to call her his soulmate.

Still, she meant a great deal to him, whatever they were.

"Leave him alone." She combed her hair to the side. "Don't you think you've done enough damage already?"

Farkle groaned. He wished Isadora were there. He liked to think that she would understand, maybe even be able to get through to their passionate friend. But even if she couldn't, he'd feel better just having her close.

"I did the right thing Maya! He deserved to know and so does she!"

Riley stormed out of the bedroom where she had been hiding. She'd known it was only a matter of time before they showed up, but she'd foolishly hoped she'd have more time to process her feelings alone before having to pretend to search for birds while they bickered amongst themselves about how to handle her situation.

"I already know."

All eyes turned to face the brunette at the end of the hall. Her expression eerily calm.

"How you doin' sugar?"

Before she could reply, Maya leapt from the bar, eager to take her rightful place next to her sister.

"Farkle just blew her life apart, how do you think she is!?" She gestured toward friend in question. "Go ahead Riles, tell him how betrayed you feel, how out of line he was."

Zay came over placing his hands over the blonde's slender shoulders.

"How about we let Riley tell us how she feels instead of us telling her?"

She scowled at him, but reluctantly agreed.

"Fine. How do you feel Riles?"

Riley made her way into the living room and slumped on the couch, dropping her head into her hands.

How did she feel? Like a stranger in her own life, like she must be glutton for punishment. Like she had just messed everything up and nothing would ever be the same.

"I don't know," she sighed. "It all happened so fast. I turned around and bam! There he was. And then tried to act like it wasn't weird but of course it was weird, and then she started crying and ran out to find me-"

Zay and Maya exchanged a concern filled glance.

"You mean he saw her?" The blonde demanded.

Riley thought back to the pained look on his face when she'd come running out.

"Yeah, he did. He almost left."

Farkle sidled closer to his friend. For the first time, he questioned his judgement that night. Perhaps Maya was right and he'd made a mistake.

"So, what stopped him then," the blonde probed further.

The brunette tucked anxiously tucked her hair back. She knew her best friend wouldn't like the answer.

"I did…" she choked out, turning to the genius next to her. "He doesn't know, does he?"

It had taken a good amount of retrospection for her to put the pieces together but eventually the picture began to form. She had always secretly hoped there was another explanation for Lucas's dismissiveness. For months, she'd waited for him to come back to her and their child, to help her be brave enough to face the unknown, but eventually she'd had to move on without him. It hadn't mattered what Lucas had done or why anymore. All that mattered were the choices she'd made and the precious little life that they'd created together. She'd somehow managed to build a new life over the ruins they had left behind despite the ghosts of yesterday. Now that ghost was here in the flesh, asking to be invited in, and once again she wasn't ready.

Farkle shook his head.

"He didn't, no."

Maya plopped down next to her. She didn't appreciate what Farkle had done and liked the idea of Lucas Friar's return even less. Whatever feelings she had on the subject they could wait.

"What can we do," she asked.

The brunette forced a smile, rising from the couch.

"You guys can get out of here and get back to living your lives." She opened the door and gestured to the hall. "I appreciate the concern, but I'm okay. Go home! Go out! Just please stop worrying about me," she pleaded.

After several attempts to sway her, the group of friends finally had no choice but to relent and grant her wish. Each one trudged across the threshold, promising only to be a call or text away before being pushed through the exit.

"I don't like this," the blonde declared on the other side of the door. "When someone drops a bomb, you react! You don't stand there all calm and collected. You cry, or scream, or break something. It's weird!"

Zay's lips formed an upside-down U shape.

"Maybe it's a mom thing? You know, holding it together for the kid?"

The blonde snorted. Trouble is what it was.

He raised his arm without thinking, almost wrapping it around her, before remembering why he shouldn't. He jammed his hand into his pocket to avoid temptation.

"Back in high school, all I wanted was to be them. I was so jealous of what they had."

She peered up at him with a knowing look. One that said she understood more than anyone else could. Though she'd rather die than admit it, she had been too. Everyone had. Judging by the blank expression on Riley's face, he had no reason to envy Lucas anymore.

* * *

Lucas lay awake in bed, the voice of a much younger and happier Riley echoing in his head. If he closed his eyes he could almost feel her there next to him, her left leg tangled up between his and the ends of her hair tickling his chest. He remembered the bashful smile on her face when she'd asked him to paint her a picture of their life together. His first thought had been to paint their wedding, but she'd been so hesitant to accept his proposal, he feared any reference to the actual ceremony might spook her.

" _Okay, close your eyes." He kissed each eyelid gently as she did so._

 _The brunette sighed, dropping her head to his shoulder._

" _Now imagine you're in our house."_

 _Her eyes shot open, gleaming with excitement._

" _We have a house?!"_

 _He chuckled at her enthusiasm._

" _Yes, we have a house. It's not huge or anything. Just a small family house."_

 _She propped her head up on her hand with a smile._

" _With a wraparound porch and a swing for us to spend summer nights on?"_

 _He imagined them sitting on the porch someday with their grandchildren, just as he had done with his grandparents, and couldn't help but grin._

" _Anything you want, Riles." Lucas ran a hand through her curly waves._

" _So you're in our house making dinner and there's a little girl coloring at the table. She's got your deep brown eyes, and pretty, dark hair. She even smiles just like you."_

 _Riley's eyes shot open again._

" _Well she has to have something of yours too."_

 _The blonde arched a brow._

" _My equilibrium," he teased._

 _She leaned her head into her hand, contemplating._

" _I'd want our child to have your eyes."_

 _Her tone was so cheerful it made his heart skip a beat. If he could somehow secure that dream for her, he would._

" _Fine. She can have my eyes and my balance, but the rest should be all you."_

He could remember everything about that day; the smell of Riley's shampoo, the color of the sheets, the number of times they made love. Curiosity pricked his senses. Could that have been the day their little girl was conceived?

She was everything they had dreamt her to be. His eyes. Riley's smile, and she hadn't tripped once when they were playing tag in the bakery that afternoon. He'd come so close to walking out that door without ever knowing. Had Riley not called out to him, he'd probably have been on a plane back to Texas that night. And she'd have thought he knew and chose to leave them behind.

His talk with Farkle had been eye-opening to say the least, but he'd omitted the most important detail. The part where Lucas abandoned the love of his life with their child. How could he not have known? It had to have happened when they were living together in Texas. Had she been queasy the last few weeks before the move? Tired? He had spent those last days working to commit every detail of her to memory, but looking back, if there had been a sign, he couldn't recall.

She had been carrying his child the day she climbed into that moving truck and drove away.

Had she known? No! Riley would never keep him from his child like that. Even now, with every reason to assume the worst, she had done what she could to encourage a connection between father and daughter. She had to have learned once she was back home. But why hadn't he known? How could she not have told him?

Unless…

The break.

The first few weeks after their breakup had been brutal. Each day he'd come home to an empty apartment where she'd once been waiting for him, slept on the couch because the bed was too lonely without her. He couldn't take it alone and so he had leaned on the one person who had always been able to make everything bearable. Her.

She had been struggling too. It had been her decision to walk away but that hadn't lessened her pain. So together they leaned on one another, until the lines began to blur. As much as they wanted to stay friends, it was too much. And so, they had agreed a clean break was necessary. It was like ripping his own heart out, but he did it. He'd changed his number, blocked all her social media accounts, and left every trace of her behind. Everything except his heart and their baby, both of which she still had.

He shifted in bed, kicking at the covers. How could he possibly hope to sleep after the discovery he'd just made? He was a dad. He had a daughter. Whose name he didn't even know. How could he sleep knowing that? He couldn't.

Lucas bolted up in bed, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. His hands felt sweaty as he searched for shred of paper Riley had scribbled her number onto earlier that night. He wouldn't have been able to let her walk away without some assurance they'd see one another again. Carefully, he punched her number into his phone. He knew she was in no hurry for their conversation, but he'd already missed the last three years. He couldn't wait anymore.


	4. Chapter 4- The Mess I Made

**A/N: To those who were kind enough to read and review with encouragement, I thank you so much!**

 **To those who were less than kind, you know who you are, and you're entitled to your opinion. I'm genuinely sorry you feel that way, but I won't let your disappointment ruin this journey for me or those still sharing it with me. I will not let your negative opinion affect me or my story. So I wish you happy reading elsewhere, and that's the last word I'll say on the subject.**

The scent of cinnamon wafted through the apartment, finding its way to Cory's nose, exactly as Topanga had planned. She imagined the aroma forming into a finger and tickling her husband's senses, just like in the old Saturday morning cartoons they used to watch. Once that happened it would be only a matter of minutes until he stumbled into the kitchen wearing a mask of childlike splendor, and she still had no idea how she was going to tell him about Lucas.

Her gaze shifted to the little girl standing on the stool next to her. When Riley had first announced her pregnancy, Topanga had been heartbroken for her child. Her daughter had no college education, no partner, and no experience with children other than her brother Auggie and his girlfriend Ava Morganstern. She was too young, and unprepared in every way that mattered. It wasn't until her beautiful granddaughter had been placed in her arms that those concerns melted into a deep and profound joy for the new addition to their family.

She couldn't imagine their lives without her.

Cory poked his head around the corner, with an exaggerated smile.

"Is that cinnabuns I smell," he asked hopefully.

Topanga's eyes fell to the task at hand.

"Cinnamon swirl pancakes." She corrected.

He reacted to the menu just as she'd hoped, clapping his hands excitedly and practically bounding into the kitchen. He planted an enthusiastic kiss on her cheek as she continued to work.

"Have I told you lately that you're the best wife I've ever had?"

She squinched her brow quizzically as he turned his attention to his granddaughter.

"And aren't you the sweetest little kitchen helper I've ever seen." He asked in a dopey, sweet voice reserved only for children and animals. "Yes, you are."

The spout of the coffee pot clanked the rim of his mug when the corners of his mouth fell.

"Oh no!"

His eyes narrowed at the plate of delicious smelling pancakes smothered in cream cheese icing.

"It's not my birthday," his suspicion shifted to his wife.

"It's not Christmas or our anniversary. You're trying to butter me up!"

Topanga did her best to feign insult, but her inability to look her husband in the eye gave her away.

"Can't I just want to do something nice for you? Honestly Cory, you'd think I'd never made you breakfast before." She slung the plate back onto the counter with a sigh. "Fine, you're right. That's exactly what I'm doing."

She hated lying to her husband, and it wasn't as though he'd bought her act for a second. He knew her too well.

"How bad is it," his voice rose with his concern.

On a scale of one to ten? From his perspective? At least a thousand!

"Why don't you help her wash her hands," she gestured to her little apprentice, "and then you two can play til I get these done?"

Every alarm in Cory's being sounded. It was one thing for her to manipulate him with food. That was a common occurrence when she worried he might "overreact" to a situation. But she was still withholding information, and more telling, she had drug their granddaughter into the equation as a diversion.

He plucked the little girl from her stool next to his wife and took her into the next room as requested. Playing with her was almost like being in his twenties again. She was so much like her mother, not only in appearance, but in personality as well. Both were happy, silly, and carefree children, but sitting there with her couldn't distract him from the scenarios his imagination concocted, each one worse than the last.

She had just swatted his castle of blocks to the ground when Topanga came in with a fresh platter for the three of them. Usually, he'd have felt like a king among men, had it not been for the anticipation of bad news.

"Alright, Topanga. I got the baby. I got pancakes. I'm ready. Let me have it."

He closed his eyes and scrunched his face in preparation for the blow.

"First, you have to promise you won't overreact." Her hands pushed the air in front of them.

His eyebrows knitted against his hairline with a scoff.

"Have you met me!? You know I can't promise that."

He stabbed into the pancake onehanded.

"And this delivery isn't helping!"

She resituated herself on the couch, running her hands down her legs anxiously.

"I just want you to remember that what I'm about to tell you is not as bad as it seems."

He raked another bite from the fork with his teeth.

"For the love of God woman! Just spit it out already!"

Topanga knew this was dangerous information. Her husband was a creature of habit. He'd always despised change and this particular shift in events would not be welcomed, even under the most optimistic and adaptable of circumstances.

"When Riley came over this morning, she had some news. Apparently, after we all left the bakery last night…

Cory's impatient expression fell into one of deep concern.

"What happened Topanga," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Is our baby girl okay?"

She smiled weakly, looking down at the toddler in his arms, who was sticky and smiley, and completely unaware anything significant was happening around her.

"Yeah, she's okay. It's just…someone came into the bakery after we left…someone unexpected…someone whose shoes you used to collect."

A low growling noise rumbled in Cory's throat.

"What's HE doing here?!"

That wasn't even the worst part.

"He came to see Riley. I guess after all this time, he still felt like he needed closure-"

Her husband scoffed.

"She's under the impression that he…didn't know…about…"

She gestured toward her granddaughter with a smile.

"Oh! He knew exactly what he was doing!" He whispered aggressively.

It wasn't as though she couldn't understand his reaction. She'd only had a couple hours to process this information herself, and frankly, she wasn't sure she believed Lucas's claims. But she knew her daughter did. Riley had always given him the benefit of the doubt, even after he'd stopped earning it.

Cory peered down at the little girl squirming in his lap. Part of him wanted to hold her tighter, and never let her go. It was the only way he knew to protect her. He'd had the same instinct with his own children. He'd clung tightly to their childhood, and fought life every step of the way. That hadn't kept them from growing up or experiencing all the pains he'd wanted to spare them.

"So, what happens now?"

He slid his granddaughter from his knees to the floor where she could play.

He couldn't protect any of them. All he could do was be there for them.

Topanga crossed over to his side of the room, sitting on the arm of his chair. Gently, she wrapped a reassuring arm around her husband's shoulders.

"Now we wait….and we trust our daughter to know what's right."

* * *

Lucas inhaled deeply and let it out slow. He was losing his nerve. It had been easy to text her and ask for a meeting when his body was coursing with adrenaline and his brain was in shock. But in the early light of morning, he'd realized how unprepared for this moment he was. He had abandoned them. Whether he had known it or not, she had been forced to go through the entire pregnancy without his support. She had birthed his child without his hand to hold, and had spent the last two years raising her alone. Nothing he could say would change those facts for her. No apology in the world could make up for his absence.

He'd already deprived her of a partner and their child of a father. The least he could do was step back and give her a minute to readjust.

He'd just pulled out his phone, to cancel, when he saw her rounding the corner.

She wore jeans, the kind that were thin and wrapped around the ankles, with a hole in the knee, and a flowy sleeveless blouse, that was cinched at the waist. The dark waves which usually surrounded her face were pulled back into a barrette, and she kept swatting at her bangs, while she mumbled to herself.

He imagined she was rehearsing her half of the conversation, as he had been earlier.

Her warm brown eyes rose to meet his gaze, and he was thirteen years old again; reaching out to catch her on that fateful subway ride so long ago.

"Hi."

She instinctively reached to brush her hair back, her hand quickly dropping once she realized there was nothing there.

"Hey."

Was it him, or did his voice sound higher? He cleared his throat self-consciously.

"Hi," she echoed, falling into their childhood routine.

The two fell into awkward silence. Outside of romantic comedies and hallmark movie features there wasn't exactly an outline for how to handle their unique situation.

The blonde tapped his thumb against his leg impatiently.

"So…what do you we do now?"

Her shoulders lifted slightly in a bashful shrug that matched her clasping hands.

"I don't know," she confessed with a nervous giggle in her voice. "We could walk?"

Lucas nodded, and rose from the table, following her lead.

Riley had been up most of the night, anticipating their conversation-dreading the accusations that might come up. In the movies, there were always accusations. She knew how it looked; her leaving him in Texas, after she'd conceived, then asking for a clean break right around the time a normal woman would have put the clues together. Looking back, there had been enough signs for her to know by then. The sad truth was, she simply hadn't wanted to. Instead she ignored the symptoms, and when they grew too obvious to dismiss, she rationalized them away. She hadn't deliberately hidden his child from him. But had she been honest with herself sooner, the last three years of misunderstanding could have been avoided.

"I'm sorry, Lucas!" She burst out suddenly, turning on her heel. "About the other night, I mean. I never should have blurted it out like that, it's just…you were going to leave, and you hadn't so much as acknowledged her, of course, now I know why but at the time-"

Three years and 12 hours to plan the perfect speech and this jumbled mess was what came tumbling out of her!

Lucas only knew three ways to get through to her when she was like that. Kissing her, while tempting, hardly seemed the right course of action under the circumstances, and he couldn't stand there listening to her beat herself up for telling him the truth.

The blonde pressed his finger to her lips, mid-sentence. The breath of her words died against his skin.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad that you told me. I'm just sorry I didn't come sooner, okay?"

She nodded, nibbling the flesh of her lip where his finger had been.

"Why are you here?" She grimaced at her choice of words. Nothing was coming out right.

"I mean, if you didn't know, something had to bring you back to the city," she tried again.

The two began walking again, occasionally stealing glances at one another when the other wasn't looking. Despite the distance and the years, they were still in perfect rhythm. At least physically.

"You." Her head tilted toward him curiously. "I tried to let you go. I tried to move on. Riley, I couldn't do it. I couldn't understand how we got here. I still don't. So, I got on a plane and I came looking for you…I don't know what I was expecting…"

She offered half a smile as reward for his honesty.

"I'm betting it wasn't this."

Her smile faltered at his nervous chuckle.

They had almost felt familiar, walking that trail together. But the old Lucas would have known she was phrasing her concern as a joke to protect herself. He wouldn't have laughed it off so easily.

The brunette hastened her step.

Before he could think about what he was doing, he reached out, taking her hand in his own.

"You're right. I wasn't expecting it, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy about it."

Her gaze fell to their joined hands. Then back up to his face.

She hadn't pulled back and she wasn't walking away. Both gave him hope that he could rectify whatever damage he'd unintentionally caused.

"I'm a dad," he grinned with pride. "I have a daughter. We have a daughter, and I couldn't be happier about that! I want to know her, Riley. I want to know everything about her. You know, I realized last night that I don't even know her name...I don't know if she knows anything about me…"

She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze before releasing it.

"Lily." She breathed the word with a mother's love. "Her name is Lily."

The brunette was beginning to understand why the people in those movies were always pacing and moving around for those conversations. It was the same reason animals didn't stand out in the open during hunting season. A moving target was harder to hit. Standing there next to him left her far too vulnerable and exposed for her liking.

She resumed their walk, and thankfully he followed.

Lucas imagined his little girl running through the bakery the day before, listening to others call her by name. A smile came to his lips.

"Lily Friar," he tested the name on his tongue and instantly liked the taste.

"It's pretty. I like it."

He couldn't see Riley wincing from behind.

"Mathews." She called over her shoulder. "I wanted to give her your name, but they wouldn't let me without your consent. They wouldn't even let me put your name on the birth certificate."

She'd fought hard against that law, but they seemed to think that Lucas would be grateful for the protection. As if they knew who he was or what he would want. One look in his eyes confirmed what she had always known. The law had been wrong. He wasn't grateful. He was hurt.

"Lily Mathews sounds pretty too."

Riley beamed with his approval.

"I kind of felt like it was the perfect mix of you and me…just like her."

The blonde chuckled at her comment. Though he appreciated her efforts to keep him connected to their child, there was no denying their kid was all her.

"Looks to me like the Mathews genes won that competition."

Now that her guard was down, he found it more difficult to contain himself in her presence. It wasn't just habit he was fighting. There had always been a natural pull between them.

"All but the eyes and equilibrium."

There was something in her voice that made him wonder if she was reliving the same memory he had been the night before.

"That's a shame," he called from behind. "How is the love of her life supposed to find her if she doesn't come flying backward into his arms?"

She froze momentarily.

Had he just called her the love of his life?

Riley shook her head in denial, but her steps slowed as she walked to the familiar pace they shared.

"Your life is far from over, Lucas."

It didn't matter if he lived to be a hundred and ten or died the next day, his heart was set on her.

The universe had thrown them together at such a tender age, but knowing her and loving her, had made a world of difference in his life. She had made him the man he was. And a father. An unexpected new chapter was just on the horizon.

He ran a hand down the center of his head, a look of sheer wonder on his face.

"I still can't believe this is happening."

Riley giggled and gave him a playful nudge. "Believe me, I know the feeling!"

This was the most lighthearted he had seen her since his return. It should have filled Lucas with joy to see her that way, but the obvious contrast between her guarded and carefree natures, only made him ache with regret.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone." He hung his head in shame. "I swear if I'd known-"

The brunette lifted her finger against his moving lips with a sympathetic smile.

"I know you would have been here, if you could have." She dropped her finger and gestured back gestured toward the path she wanted him to take. "And I wasn't alone. My family was amazing, as always. And Maya held my hand through the entire process."

They were walking much closer now; a breath away from touching.

"What happened…it wasn't my fault or yours. It just is what it is."

Lucas nodded, wordlessly.

"All we can do is now is move forward."

He'd thought there was no greater pain than dreaming of a life that would never be, but this was worse. The moments he had spent years imagining; feeling their child kick for the first time, seeing their child grow inside her, holding her hand through the delivery- they had all happenedn

"You're right." He walked quicker, with longer strides and laser focus.

There was no going back and reliving her first day. He'd never hold his daughter as a newborn, but he could hold her. He could teach her how to tie her shoes or kick a goal. He could make certain she knew what kind of man her father was.

"The first thing I have to do is cancel my flight to Texas."

Her head shifted to the side. Cancel his flight?

"And I need to find somewhere to live."

Somewhere to…

Riley's dark brown eyes went wide as understanding dawned. She rushed forward, eager to catch up with the blonde.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to be talking relocation," she panted from behind.

Even with her long legs, she was struggling to keep his pace.

His handsome features twisted into a mask of confusion. If anything, he'd say he was three years too late in making this move. But better late, than never.

"And what about school? Lucas, you're already halfway through. You can't just quit now."

He'd dreamed of being a veterinarian longer than she'd known him. She wouldn't let him give that up for her and Lily. Those type of sacrifices only led to resentment. She knew that better than most.

Lucas wanted to understand, but he'd lost all sense of reason. Two days ago, finishing school and becoming a vet was the only priority he had. It was the only purpose in his life. Now he had a daughter, and Riley to consider.

"So, I'll do what you did." He shrugged it off and continued walking. "I'll take a year off and then go back."

The brunette was stomping behind him now.

"Only I didn't go back, did I!?"

It had taken five years and an unplanned pregnancy to make her face her fears. But that was her choice, not his. There was no sense digging up the skeletons of their fractured relationship now. All that mattered was Lily and doing what was best for her.

"I'm just saying…it's not as simple as you think. That time away, it changes things. It changes you. If you let it…I just don't want that to happen to you."

The blonde punched the signal button for the crosswalk.

He didn't want to stand still. The longer he stood there, the more he thought about the validity of her concerns, and the reason behind them. The tone in her voice made him long to hold her, to comfort her, but he knew there was nothing he could say.

His dark green eyes met hers with burning intensity.

"I'm not gonna let that happen. I promise."

The little man on the sign lit up, signaling it was safe to walk, but she wasn't sure she could move. Not with him looking at her like that. He could have told her that the sky was purple or that grass was orange, and she'd have had no choice but to believe him. He spoke with such conviction, there was no room for doubt.

The last few blocks her brain went into autopilot. She didn't remember crossing the street or walking toward the bakery, but soon they were rounding the corner and her mother's establishment was in sight.

Reluctantly, she glanced over at Lucas, to find he was already watching her.

"Thank you…for coming to meet me, for telling me about Lily…just for everything."

He shoved his hands back in his pockets, denying his instinct to reach for her.

She ran a finger through the fringes of her bangs, tucking the final strands behind her ear, with a smile.

He tapped his thumbs against his jeans.

"When do you think I can see her?"

Riley crossed an arm over her body, rubbing the patch just above her elbow. Her shoulders pulled in.

She should have seen that question coming, but hadn't. Just like she hadn't thought about him cancelling his ticket or moving back to the city, though she had set it all in motion. She was the one who had kept him from walking away

"I don't know…I think we should keep talking…figure some things out first, before we start getting her involved."

Like a snowball on a hill, that one sentence had gathered mass and momentum, on its path to her doorstep. Neither she nor her daughter were prepared for the avalanche.

"Okay," he frowned. "So, are we talking like a week, a month. How long do we need to talk about this?"

Her eyes darted through the crowd, searching for an exit that didn't exist. There was only one way out of their conversation, and that was to end it.

"I don't know, Lucas. However long it takes. There's still a lot to figure out."

Lucas took a deep breath and tried to count to ten in his head.

He only made it to five.

She kept saying they had "a lot to figure out," but from where he was standing it felt simple. He had missed the first two years of his daughter's life, and he wasn't going to miss any more.

His hands weren't in his pockets now, they were on his hips.

"It's not like I'm asking to take her back to my hotel room or to spend a week in Texas. I just want a few hours of playtime. What's so complicated about that?"

Riley wanted to scream but she couldn't. She could barely breathe. Her ribs suddenly felt too small for her chest, as though they were suffocating the very organs they were meant to protect.

They had officially become the characters in those movies; standing on a random street, hurling accusations at one another. She almost wished he would have accused her of hiding Lily. At least that, she could deny. But she couldn't honestly look him in the eye and pretend the thought of sharing her daughter with him didn't scare her to death.

"She doesn't even know who you are, Lucas!"

Her hand flew over her mouth, as the blonde reeled back.

Shock filled her eyes. She had no idea what she'd intended to say when she opened her mouth, but it hadn't been that. Those words had forced their way into the air with a life all their own.

"I-I didn't mean…"

The words had been cruel, but there was truth in them. That was what hurt him the most.

"That's why I need to meet her! So that she can know me!"

His hand waved through the air, driving his point home.

Riley's fingers curled into fists, willing her heart to stone. She didn't want to keep hurting him. That was why she had left him, why she'd given back his grandmother's ring-because she was tired of causing him pain. But she couldn't allow him to sway her. His happiness couldn't be her priority anymore.

"I'm not saying that she shouldn't know you. I've always wanted that, for both of you…but right now she doesn't. What she knows is me, Maya, my parents, and our friends. She's happy and secure, and if we go changing everything on her…" she sighed. "I understand why you're in such a hurry, I do. But that's all about you! What you want. How you feel. Stop and think about what's best for her for minute!"

"I am," he shot back, "and I think two parents is better than one!"

The brunette opened her mouth to retaliate, but nothing came out. She was prepared for an argument, not a sucker punch. But this wasn't a conversation or even a disagreement anymore. It was a fight. He wasn't hearing her. He wasn't even listening. All he cared about was getting what he wanted.

The only question was how far he would go to get it.

"Only if both those parents can work together and put her first. If you can't do that, then you might as well go back to Texas, because you're no better use to her here, than you were there."

Lucas was on fire. His muscles burned with tension. He needed a bag to punch or a tree to kick, but all he had was Riley standing in front of him- between him and his child.

He took a step back, hoping the distance would help. It didn't. The eyes he remembered with such light and warmth were now cold and dark, as though she were staring straight through him.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Never had he looked at her with such contempt before. It was enough to churn her stomach. This wasn't what she'd wanted. She'd entered their encounter determined to remain civil and in the present, but she couldn't be near him without reliving it all- and it was too much. Their spiral of blame and resentment had poisoned any hope of a peaceful negotiation.

Riley threw her head back as though looking to the sky for answers. Slowly her gaze lowered to his face; his thin tight lips and clenched jaw. He had no intention of backing down. She knew that much.

Her head shook slightly as she let out an exasperated burst of laughter.

"No." She brushed past him, leaving him alone to argue with himself.

There was only one way to end their vicious cycle and that was to walk away. He could have the last word, if it was so important to him, but he couldn't pressure Lily into a relationship she didn't want or wasn't ready for, to appease his own conscience. She wouldn't allow that.

* * *

Tired and deflated, he collapsed into the chair he had been sitting in earlier that morning. He rewound and replayed the last hour repeatedly in his mind, searching for where it had all gone so wrong. He'd been doing the same with their relationship for the last three years and he'd yet to find that critical turn for the worst. For him, it had been when she'd shouted that his own daughter didn't know him, as though that were his fault. But she'd assured him more than once that she didn't blame him for his absence.

He dropped his head into his hands.

So why had she gone off on him with no warning?

There had to have been a trigger, something he was missing.

"You look like you need this."

He glanced up to see an old friend staring down at him with a sympathetic grin and a styrofoam cup of coffee from the bakery behind him.

The blonde smirked in response and accepted the gesture, while the brunette seated himself at the opposite end of the table.

"How'd you know I'd be here?" Lucas sipped the bitter, hot, liquid cautiously.

His companion shrugged with a knowing expression.

"Process of elimination."

Lucas shook his head with an amused grin. For some reason, he'd expected a more impressive answer.

"It's neutral territory," he explained, "and it's kind of the place where all the big moments in our lives take place."

His blue orbs glinted with nostalgia.

"Isadora and I held hands for the first time at this very table."

The corners of his mouth slipped downward.

He loved Isadora Smackle with every atom that composed his being. Which made their extended periods of time apart all the more difficult to endure. He would never deny her the room to grow or opportunities for accolade. Still, he couldn't help but ache for her in her absence.

Guilt tugged at the blonde's conscience.

Farkle had defied the committee on his behalf, and as a former member of the protection squad, he knew that was no simple task. His loyalties would be questioned, after his last move. There was no telling what this small act of kindness might cost him.

He leaned in, planting his elbows on his knees.

"I'm sorry, man. You stuck your neck out for me, and I made a mess of it."

The brunette just grinned back at him.

"You had to know this wouldn't easy?"

Lucas groaned in reply. Nothing between he and Riley had ever come without persistence on his part, and usually some form of intervention from their friends or some sage advice from Mr. Mathews. Unfortunately, neither the protection squad, nor her father, were great fans of his.

He slumped back in his seat, caressing his temples.

"She's the one who told me Lily was my daughter. Why would she do that, if she doesn't want me around?"

Farkle sipped his coffee and sat it back down on the table.

"She wouldn't."

The blonde gripped the ends of his arm rests.

"She does. She told me to go back to Texas."

The brunette's brows furrowed as he processed this latest bit of information. From a scientific standpoint, it made no sense for Riley to encourage a connection between father and daughter during their first encounter at the bakery, only to force him out of their lives a day later.

"She knows you'd never do that, and honestly, I don't think she wants you to."

Granted, it had been years since Riley had acknowledged any kind of feelings for the father of her child, but her faith in his character had never wavered throughout the pregnancy. She had done everything in her power to inform him of their situation, and continued to advocate for his rights when he wasn't there to do so. All those actions implied that she wanted Lily and Lucas to have a relationship, as did her decision the previous evening.

Lucas flung his hands in the air, his arms still planted firmly on their rests.

"Then what does she want?"

She had been the one to press the issue of Lily's paternity, but balked when he'd attempted to step up for their child.

Farkle leaned back in his seat, pondering the question. He'd once been an expert on all things Riley Mathews, and felt no hesitance speaking on her behalf. Until he'd spoken one New Year's Eve a little too publicly and damaged two of the most important relationships in his life. Months passed before he managed to earn their forgiveness. Since then, he'd grown accustom to keeping his observations to himself, at least where the thoughts and feelings of others were concerned.

He couldn't say how Riley felt about Lucas after so many years of silence, or his parentage to Lily because the brunette never spoke on either subject. However, there was one insightful deduction he could share with his old friend, which might aid him moving forward.

"You just found out about Lily. For you, this is happening right now. But for her, this is something she has been living with for the last three years. She may have wanted you here, but that doesn't mean she expected you to show up."

The blonde leaned forward pensively.

"What are you trying to say?"

The genius shook his head, reluctant to elaborate. He was already flirting with the line between observation and speculation, and had no desire to cross it. Instead he scooped up his drink and offered a confident grin.

"You know what? I'm not saying anything that you don't already know or can't figure out on your own."

Farkle knew this was no simple task for his friend. Though he knew Riley Mathews in ways no one else ever had or would, his emotions had always kept him from seeing intentions clearly when it came to the bubbly brunette. Lucas could always talk to her. The sad truth was he chose not to whenever he grew afraid of what he might hear. Riley had their daughter, and unless Farkle had misread his reactions, Lucas's heart as well. Never had he had reason to be more frightened of her response. But if they were to have any hope of working through this painful misunderstanding, he couldn't spell it out for either of them this time. They had to take the initiative.


	5. Chapter 5- A Lesson in Charades

**A/N: I'm so glad to hear that you all are enjoying the subtle changes in the rewrite! Chapter Five is here, and it's the last I will be updating until the first, as I stated I do not plan to post on the holidays. I do have more chapters for you guys and I can't wait to share them with you. Hope you have a great new year's and I look forward to our return!**

"So," Maya flipped absentmindedly through the vintage records with feigned interest. "How long are we avoiding this?"

Riley schooled her features into a mask of indifference as she glanced over toward her sister.

She knew she was being studied.

Ever since Lucas had come back into their lives, her friends and family had been watching her, waiting for a reaction. Much to their dismay, she had yet to offer one.

"Not avoiding anything."

Her gaze darted back to the bookshelf, and landed on a worn copy of Sense & Sensibility.

A sigh slipped past her lips as she pulled the book out by its spine.

She understood the endless battle between head and heart better than most since she'd been fighting it herself, for years.

 _Riley sat at the bay window, wringing her hands in her lap. She knew that Lucas wanted to reach for them. The only reason he didn't was because he knew she'd pull away. That was their new normal since the triangle had resolved itself._

 _Her eyes lowered to her lonely hands._

 _It was better that he didn't reach for her. Easier._

" _Riley, something has to change."_

 _She could feel his green eyes searching for hers. She couldn't meet them though._

" _I love you-"_

 _Her heart leapt at the declaration despite herself. It always did when he used that word._

" _but I can't do this anymore-"_

 _And then it stopped._

 _It wasn't fair what she was doing to him; rejecting his advances, while silently begging him not to fall in love with anyone else. She knew it couldn't last. He deserved more than the sadistic limbo she was offering. He deserved someone who could accept his love and return it without guilt or fear._

" _And if you don't love me the same way-"_

 _Her head snapped up from her hands to his face._

 _Was that what he thought?_

" _I never said that I didn't love you," she interrupted, her voice just above a whisper._

 _He shook his head with a frown._

" _You never said you did either," he stated with more edge in his voice than he intended._

 _Riley winced, focusing her eyes back on her hands._

 _She had said it. Once, back in Texas. He had misunderstood the meaning at the time, but the word had still been spoken. She'd confessed her heart and purposefully misled him at the same time. Farkle had said it too, that night on the roof when he'd broken her confidence. Her feelings were far from a mystery after that._

" _Lucas, you know how I feel about you…"_

 _Riley knew what he wanted her to say but she just couldn't do it. That was the first step toward trying to be her parents and everyone that did that ended up going down in flames. She couldn't let that happen to her and Lucas too._

 _He stood up and paced the circumference of the window, his hands on his hips._

" _I do know Riley! That's the hardest part about this. Knowing that we could be more and should be but you won't let us. I know what I want and I know you want it too. I get that you're scared but…" he hung his head with a sigh. "If you really felt what I feel then you wouldn't be able to hold back the way you do."_

 _He reached out toward her, pulling back just before they could touch. The proximity alone made her shiver with anticipation._

" _It takes everything I have not to reach for your hand, or brush you hair from your eyes when it falls into your face…or kiss you. Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you?"_

 _He'd sworn that he'd never yell at her again after that first day, but it wasn't a promise he'd been able to keep. She didn't blame him though. He had every right to be angry with her for pushing him away._

 _Every time he talked like this she wanted to give in. She knew if she did they would ultimately disintegrate but wouldn't the expression of joy on his face be worth that downfall? Wouldn't one more taste of his lips be worth never speaking again? She knew that wasn't a reasonable response but it was hard to be reasonable when he was so close to her, offering her all the things she wanted so badly. They would be hers if only she would reach out and take them._

 _The brunette stood timidly and placed her hands over his very muscular arms. Her stupid teenage hormones raced as they bulged. Between her heart's yearnings and her body's cravings it was becoming exceedingly difficult to keep saying no when literally every part of her was screaming yes._

" _I want to kiss you too, Lucas. You know I do."_

 _He turned to her, his green eyes pleading, "Then kiss me Riley,"_

 _Before she had a chance to respond his hands were on her face pulling her closer to him._

 _The moment his lips met hers she knew she was a goner. There was no saving them now. She would be his for as long as it took for the clock to run out. She wouldn't think about the consequences of this moment, she couldn't. Right now, she'd just surrender to the mixture of bliss and oblivion swelling inside her._

"Riles!" The blonde barked impatiently. "Earth to Riles!"

She reached for the small plush ladybug propped on a nearby shelf and launched it at her friend.

The soft toy grazed the side of Riley's head, pulling her back into the present.

"Where'd you go just now?" Maya demanded.

The brunette turned the cover toward her friend, allowing the memory to speak for itself.

The two women shared a knowing look before casting their eyes in separate directions. Neither liked remembering the dreaded "triangle that wasn't."

That time, dark as it had been, had revealed something about her best friend that Maya hadn't seen before. Because Riley was so good in nature; so optimistic to the point of naivety, it had yet to occur to her that her sister would ever lie, or that she'd be so good at it. She knew better now.

She watched her best friend open the book and sift through the pages. To the untrained eye, the brunette might appear drawn in by the story, but Maya knew it was a much different narrative that had caught her sister's fancy. The story of Riley and Lucas.

"Have you contacted a lawyer yet?"

Riley folded the book shut with one hand, her gaze fixed on the cover.

"Of course." The statement came out more as a question.

The only lawyer she'd had contact with since her conversation with Lucas was her mother, and there had been no mention of legalities. At least not on her end. Topanga had insisted on researching the statutes for such situations.

The blonde raised a brow in skepticism.

"So, you know that according to the great state of New York, you are Lily's only legal parent, and Lucas can't do jack without your say so?"

The brunette was so flustered by the news she nearly dropped her book. To her credit, she recovered quickly.

"That's…what the lawyer said." Again, her tone was more inquisitive than declarative. "I'm a little surprised that you know that, though?"

Maya smirked at her best friend's maneuver, lifting a record from the bin for inspection.

"I hit a few buttons on a computer. It's not a big deal."

She slipped the record back into its sleeve.

"What matters is that Hop-Along has no rights! He can't come barging back into your life, demanding anything he wants. This time it's on your terms, not his."

The blonde raked a hand through her hair. Talking about Lucas- even thinking about him, made her blood hot and her brain fuzzy. She would need a clear head to successfully steer her best friend in the right direction.

"So, what are your terms?"

This was Riley's chance to set boundaries with him. The trouble was, she lacked the follow through. Whatever instinct she had to protect her daughter wouldn't apply to herself. Lily gave him the perfect excuse to slither his way back in, and though the brunette had come far since her days as his doormat, she was still healing from the scars he'd left behind.

Riley didn't have any terms. Since she'd never sought counsel, she'd been oblivious to the power she wielded. It had been nearly a week since she and Lucas had fought in front of her mother's bakery. That was six days without a restful sleep or appetite, six days she had clung to her poor little girl, afraid to leave her side for even a moment. All that time she had spent worrying and wondering how she ever could have secretly hoped for this, could have been spent with peace of mind.

She should have asked. She should have done something more than hide in her apartment and hope that the problem would disappear. Life had taught her long ago that there was no avoiding conflict or change. Her only option was to move forward. Even if she had no idea how to do so.

* * *

Isaiah Babineaux wasn't exactly known for being a complex person. He was the loudmouth. The jester. If asked what kept him up most at night, he'd probably reply a dry bowl of cereal. Of course, he had other concerns and interests, such as his dancing and his friendships, but he'd never had any terrible secrets lurking beneath his carefree exterior.

Lucas was the one with "the caged monster" inside. Not him.

Zay squirmed in his seat on the sofa. The cushion was dark red, and soft-so soft it felt like quicksand. The more he wriggled, the deeper he sank.

"Is it weird that I'm here?"

He glanced around the apartment. From the second he'd crossed the threshold, the hairs on his neck stood at attention. Though the host was welcoming, the walls were a maddening white, and he couldn't shake the thought the couch was trying to eat him.

"It feels weird that I'm here."

Josh lowered himself into the chair diagonal from Zay with a shrug.

Truthfully, it was a little strange having him there. They had shared overlapping social circles for several years, but had never spoken outside the mandatory gatherings. There was only one reason he could imagine for this meeting.

"Is this about our girl in common?" He asked, anxiously. "Because if so, I really don't-"

His guest cringed both inward and outwardly.

Something about that phrasing was just gross and made him wish he could disappear into the couch cushion.

"It's not-not about," he fumbled, searching for an explanation. He understood why Josh would leap to that conclusion. After all, she was the only interest they shared, but it wasn't his romantic life that had brought him to Mathews' door.

He cleared his throat and tried again.

"I uh…" he shifted nervously. "I find myself in a-well a bit of a situation."

His mind flashed back to his altercation with Lucas and the rush that had accompanied it.

"One I've never been in before and have no idea how to handle. And the people I'd usually talk to about his…well they've got their hands full right now."

Riley had enough on her plate without him showing up and dumping his own feelings about the situation in her lap, and her father was hardly biased after what had happened. He'd encourage any behavior that might drive Lucas away.

Josh leaned forward in his chair, with a nod.

"And you thought since I'm a Mathews, you could just come lay on my couch and I'd give you the answers to the universe?"

His tone was clearly teasing, but that was the sum of Zay's thoughts- minus the couch laying.

"Ya'll do kinda have a reputation for this sort of thing," he mumbled.

Hearing his assumption out loud made him feel small. No wonder the walls felt as though they were closing in, and he was sinking into the couch! The apartment hadn't sensed his presence and rejected him. It was his own conscience, telling him he was somewhere he shouldn't be.

Josh was Riley's uncle, and Cory's brother. Surely, he too, would have his own feelings regarding the situation with Lucas.

"I should go." He placed his hands on each side of the cushion, prepared to force his way out, and nearly lost his balance when he found the obstacle all his head.

Mathews chuckled with a sympathetic smile.

"Look, if you're worried about putting me in an awkward position, I'm already there. You might as well talk to me."

There were only a handful of details he'd gleaned about Isaiah Babineaux over the years; the most significant being how the man in front of him had bettered the lives of Maya, his niece Riley, her daughter Lily, and the Mathews family, as a whole.

He was always there for those in need, and the fact that he'd been desperate enough to turn to a person he barely knew just to keep from burdening those people with his problems, spoke volumes to his character.

Zay cautiously lowered himself back onto the sofa. Why Josh insisted on listening to his troubles, he couldn't comprehend. But he was in no position to turn down a life line, no matter where it came from.

He perched himself on the edge of the seat, questioning where to begin.

"Okay, so….I have this friend, or rather I used to-"

"So, Lucas," Josh interrupted.

Zay confirmed with a nod.

"Yeah, him. We were good friends, best friends."

The brunette groped for something wise or reassuring to say.

"I know you talked your parents into moving up here, so you two could be together."

Zay tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah, I did. But by the time I got up here, he was different. We were different. He was so focused on Riley and worried about what she'd think, that he didn't even want to acknowledge me at first. You'd think he'd have been the first one to welcome me, but it was Maya."

Josh smiled sympathetically.

He'd never thought to question why Maya and Zay were so close before.

"I mean, I missed him, but I understood. Just like I understood when he took her back to Texas with him." He craned his neck, as though attempting to make it pop. "And then when they broke up and that whole mess went down…Riley needed support and Lucas wasn't here. That never made sense to me, but I accepted it."

Lucas wasn't the type to leave a girl in trouble. Especially, if that girl was Riley Mathews.

"Do you hear something?"

Both men turned toward the entrance of the apartment in time to see the door knob rotating. The door cracked open and there was a tinkling sound from the other side; before a petite blonde slipped through, and carefully closed the door behind her.

Josh and Zay exchanged a conspiratorial glance, the former clearing his throat to get her attention.

"I don't remember giving you that."

The blonde tensed at the sound of his voice. She'd been caught red-handed, breaking into his apartment, with a key he'd never given her. It wouldn't be easy to talk her way out of this one.

Zay grinned. It was satisfying to know he wasn't the only one who'd been ignorant of her collection.

"Yeah, apparently she's got one for all of us."

Maya whirled around, all thoughts of her defense forgotten.

"Josh, Zay," her voice quivered slightly despite her efforts to control it. "What are you doing here? Together?"

They looked over at one another, shrugging simultaneously.

"I was invited by him," he pointed to Josh.

That wasn't exactly how it had happened, but he had been asked to stay. That was close enough to an invitation, wasn't it?

"And I live here," the brunette offered one of his charming smiles in retaliation.

Maya didn't know what to do.

Their arrangement was delicate; one that relied on the concept of compartmentalization. Only by keeping the two relationships separate and equal, had they managed to avoid the usual flaws of a triangle. Upsetting the balance could change that.

She glanced around the room for a clock.

The boys wouldn't let this go. Both wanted an explanation for her appearance and the truth was not an option. There was too much at stake to abandon her mission. However, in order to protect one person she cared for, she'd have to sacrifice the feelings of another.

Or she could take a page from her best friend's book and talk around the issue until she could figure out a safe exit strategy.

The doorknob made another rotation and Josh's roommate entered the crowded living room.

Maya cocked a brow at the newest addition.

"If you're here for the fan club, I think you missed the opening ceremonies," she quipped playfully.

He chuckled nervously, unsure how else to respond.

"I'm just gonna," he pointed toward his bedroom door, and took Josh's nod as permission to be dismissed.

The blonde slung her bag over her shoulder as he disappeared behind the door.

"Obviously, I walked into the middle of something," she leaned in to plant a kiss on Josh's cheek, then Zay's. "I'm gonna let you get back to…." she paused, studying them both. "Whatever it is you were doing."

She didn't like the idea of leaving them alone together, but it was the only option that didn't end in disappointment for someone.

Josh ran a hand through his hair as he watched her let herself out.

"Do you get the feeling she's up to something?"

He turned toward Zay, who rubbed his mouth to cover his laugh.

"Only always."

Maya pulled out her phone the second she turned the corner of their building. She'd successfully managed to escape their accusations before they even started, which was good, because they wouldn't have liked her answers. She peeked over the side one last time before opening her messaging app and pressing the send button.

A deep, masculine voice greeted her on the other end.

"I'm guessing there's been a change of plans?"

She smirked into the speaker.

"We just need a new clubhouse, that's all."

* * *

Riley's thoughts were still in tangles when her shift at the bakery rolled around that afternoon. She'd been angry with Maya for suggesting she leave Lily behind, afraid that Lucas might show up on her doorstep with some unheard-of ruling that could take her daughter away. It wasn't until Maya's announcement that no such law existed, she was finally able to breathe.

Katy smiled at the brunette as she entered through the back.

Horrible as it sounded, she'd felt a strange kinship with the young woman who had been left in a similar predicament as her own. Now that the father of her child was not only back, but willing to make an effort, there was a flicker of jealousy ballooning in her chest.

"There's a gentleman waiting for you over by the register."

She pointed back toward the serving area.

The young waitress tensed at her words. She had a pretty good idea who was waiting in the next room, and wasn't sure she was ready to face him after their last altercation.

Riley forced a smile, reaching for her pad and pen.

Whatever envy the older woman felt, melted away with that expression.

"Good luck, honey."

The brunette took a moment to gather her wits.

Fighting with Lucas always drained her. He was relentless in his pursuit and privy to her every weakness. Her only hope for survival was to outlast his attempts to wear her down, which she didn't feel strong enough to do at present.

But there were customers to serve and wages to earn so she steeled herself for another battle and headed into the fray where she was met with clear gray eyes instead of deep and tortured green.

After surveying the room, and seeing to the more immediate matters, she headed back toward the counter with a smile.

"Hey there stranger," she greeted warmly.

The dark-haired man leaned in closer, resting his crossed arms on the counter.

"Stranger?" He threw his head back and laughed. "From beloved friend to stranger in just six days, that's gotta be some kind of record."

Her head shifted slightly to the right and he realized that she wasn't teasing. She genuinely didn't remember their last encounter.

"I was here for that big party your parents threw, remember?"

It had been a memorable evening for him. Not only did he have the privilege of basking in her company, but at one point in the evening he had worked up the nerve to wrap his arm around her shoulders and she had let him. She'd even tipped her head back against his arm when they'd laughed at a joke Josh made.

The waitress counted back in her head, embarrassed to have made such an obvious error, and to have injured his feelings.

"Of course, I remember..." she dazzled him with a sympathetic smile. "I guess it just feels like longer."

That party felt like another lifetime away; the end of an era. But that was how time worked. Each day seemed to drag by until she looked up and realized that she was losing chunks of time. Months and years snuck up on her, and flew right by. It was the same with Lucas. Each time she thought of his return she had the distinct impression that life was moving too fast, and yet it had only been a week since the night those changes began.

"Miss," an impatient customer called from the other side of the room.

She mouthed an apology to her friend and made her way over toward the needy patron.

He watched her as she worked, admiring from a distance. She wore her "customer service" smile, which was only a notch above her "I'm fine" one, where the light never reached her eyes.

She laughed politely at something they said, brushing back her bangs with the tip of her pencil. Then she nodded and scribbled something down on her order pad and quickly disappeared into the back.

All the while he sat and marveled at her quiet strength.

When Josh had said they were going to visit his niece, he'd imagined a little girl with pigtails, not a beautiful young woman who was just three years younger than himself. She was kind, seeking him out and doing her best to make him feel included, and smart. Despite putting off college for two years, she was intelligent and well versed on many subjects.

His greatest disappointment was learning of her situation.

He never once thought of Lily as anything other than a blessing, and had no doubts that Riley would make an incredible mother. But for the life of him, he couldn't wrap his head around a man who would leave her in such a position. Nor could he understand her blind faith in this person, despite all evidence of his guilt.

The brunette reappeared, balancing two full smoothie glasses on her tray. She glanced back at him from the corner of her eye, making a silly face behind the glasses.

His shoulders shook from the laughter he held in.

Once the smoothies were delivered, she made the rounds before rotating back to the counter where he was waiting. He was different now. Gone was his childlike enthusiasm and winning smile.

"Hey," she placed a hand just above his wrist. "Are you okay?"

There was a bite to this laugh, as though he were laughing at something he shouldn't be.

"I should be the one asking you that," his stormy gaze fell to her hand on his skin. "but even if I did, you wouldn't tell me, would you? You'd say everything was fine."

Her thumb tapped against his wrist.

"Am I really that transparent?"

The man shrugged, offering a half-hearted grin that faded too quickly.

"Kind of, yeah." He teased, cautiously sliding his hand out from under hers until his fingers were curled around hers.

A small chortle bubbled from her lips and she couldn't help but smile.

"I don't know how I am."

A hundred different emotions rose to the surface with that one sentence, but she swallowed them down, unwilling or unable to face them just yet.

Her eyes darted down to their joined hands.

He was a good friend, and a good man. The first she had connected with since her failed engagement. Though she'd never admit it, she'd played the "what if" game in her mind. What if she hadn't followed Lucas to Texas? What if they had never been anything more than friends? There could have been something between her and Wes, something more than curiosity and missed opportunities.

* * *

The father in Lucas wanted peace. However, that voice of reason had been drowned out by the pounding of his heartbeat inside his ears and the rush of adrenaline flooding his system. The first time he'd seen them together his heart had shattered right there on the sidewalk. He'd been so lost in the pain that he couldn't feel anything else, and the learning the truth had brought little comfort. For six days he'd picked their conversation apart and tried to decipher the clues Farkle had hidden in their otherwise useless exchange. One swift jab to the man's jaw and all that pent up anger and frustration would melt into nothing.

At least that was one of the many lies his temper fed him.

The blonde peered down at his hand. His knuckles were white and his fingers coiled.

He'd finally been forced to seek help in middle school, but even after suspension and year's worth of therapy he'd still struggled to keep "Texas Lucas" from stirring.

His fingers uncurled and he gave his hand a shake to restore blood flow.

Tempting as the anger was, he knew what would happen if he gave into it. He would still be a stranger to his daughter. Riley would lose all respect for him. And all his effort to become a better man would be for nothing.

Besides, if he'd read the situation correctly, the guy in the window was already in a world of pain.

Witnessing the two of them together was like watching a scene from his least favorite film. If his freshman year were a movie, and the role of "poor sucker stuck somewhere in the undefined area between the levels of friends and more" had been passed on to someone else.

Lucas shook his head, hoping to clear it like an etch a sketch.

As much as he hated the idea of Riley moving on, sharing a child with a woman didn't give him any type of claim to her. She wasn't his to defend or protect, and even when she was, the brunette had never wanted him to. If she chose to be with the guy, he'd have no choice to accept her decision. Still, it helped knowing the odds weren't in his favor. He'd been trapped in that hellish limbo for a year, and there was nothing enviable about it.

Riley was busy bussing tables when the doorbell rang, signaling a new customer.

"I'll be right with you," she called over her shoulder as she stacked the leftover dishes and placed them on her tray.

There was no reply, but the footsteps continued to the other side of the counter. She finished with the tables and headed back to the man with his nose buried in the menu.

"Good evening sir," she chirped an octave higher than her speaking voice. "Can I start you off with anything?"

Lucas lowered the menu with a sigh, resting his arms on the counter.

"Please don't do that. Don't talk to me like some random guy who you pour coffee refills."

He might not be her fiancé anymore or even the love of her life, but they were something special to one another. She was his first girlfriend, his first love, and best friend. It was her voice alone that could cut through all the static in his head.

Her eyes darted toward the other side of the counter where Wes was watching from the corner of his eye.

His reveal had come as no surprise. Some part of her had known he wouldn't be able to stay away. Whether that knowledge came from an inexplicable bond or just recognition of behavior, she wasn't sure. Nor was she certain she wanted to.

Whatever the case might be, he'd chosen to hide himself among the customers. So, she'd decided to treat him as one. At least until she could repair her shield enough for their next go-around.

"Why don't you take a few more minutes, and I'll come back to take your order when you're ready?"

His lips formed a thin line.

"But I already know what I want," he reached out to stop her from leaving.

"Please Riles."

Her gaze shifted to his hand on her wrist. As much as she wanted to feel nothing, she couldn't help the static shock that ran through her at his touch.

"I have to make the rounds." She sighed, slipping her hand out from under his.

The bakery wasn't that crowded and no one seemed to be in need to immediate attention. She was just searching for an escape hatch from his company. Not that he could blame her after their last one.

"I just came to apologize for the other day," he blurted, desperate to make her stay.

The brunette froze mid-step, sucking in a deep breath.

Those words were exactly what she'd hoped to hear, but much like her last wish, the reality left her wary.

"I hate fighting with you," he continued, sensing her doubt. "That's not who we are, or who I wanna be."

Riley wished she could agree. It may not have been who they were in the beginning, but it was who they had become by the end.

She swatted anxiously at the bangs that had fallen in her face.

"I don't want to fight with you either."

His green eyes brightened and his lips formed a dimpled grin.

"Do you think we can get a do over on that talk?" His voice was hopeful. "I promise to stay calm and listen to you this time."

Just as she opened her mouth to speak a customer on the other side of the room called out for her assistance. When he'd first walked in she would have gladly welcomed the interruption, but it felt as though they might finally be ready to progress and her work was holding them back.

"I really do have to work Lucas."

He nodded, and turned toward the exit. This time it was Riley who stopped him.

"I have a break in a few hours, if you want to come back then."

He blinked rapidly, trying to process her offer.

"Yeah?"

She giggled at his flustered expression.

"No, yeah. I'd like that. A lot."

The customer shouted again, doing his best to flag her down. She gave him a sympathetic smile before heading their direction.

Wes, who had been observing their exchange with his heart in his throat, dropped his head to hide his frown. He was happy that Riley's loyalty had been rewarded, and Lily's sperm donor wasn't complete scum. But after seeing her interact with the guy he understood why so many who loved her were concerned for her wellbeing since his return.


	6. Chapter 6- Falling in Reverse

**A/N: Hope everyone had a great start to a new year!**

 **As always thank you so much for every read, follow, favorite, and review! They all mean so much to me, and I love hearing your thoughts on the revision!**

Riley sat outside her mother's bakery, spine straight, and hands clasped on the table. She was an adult now, a mother there to negotiate a peace treaty, but her heart cried out for the bay window of her childhood. It was the place where she and Maya figured out their most important stuff. Whenever the world got confusing and scary, she would sit there and feel safe from it all. Her world had never felt more unstable or frightening than it had for the last week and if their second attempt at this conversation went as badly as the first, it would only get worse.

'Please don't let it get worse,' she begged internally.

Lucas turned the corner and she was gripped with a backward sense of deja vu.

'Please let this time be different' she tapped her fingers nervously on the table, waiting for him to approach.

He noted her rigid posture and clasped hands, with an inward sigh. She didn't look happy to see him. In fact, she didn't appear to be feeling anything at all. Which was discouraging since he couldn't be near her without the waves of nostalgia and regret crashing over him.

The blonde gripped the back of the chair across from her, leaning on the object for comfort.

"Hi," he tried to sound normal, but the word came out strangled.

She lifted her gaze to meet his, a wisp of a smile on her lips.

"Hey." Her greeting was weak and breathy, like a singer trying to be sexy in a song that wasn't meant to be.

It did make Lucas grin though.

"Hi," he glanced down at the table, uncertain if he should sit down or not.

"Thanks for doing this. I know you don't have to, so it means a lot to me."

She nodded silently, her smile now gone. The only way he could know he had no rights was if he had spoken with a lawyer.

Her hand gestures to the chair.

"Should we walk or sit?"

Her knees bounced with anxious energy.

"You know what, let's just walk," she slid her seat back and rose from it. "Walking's good."

The blonde shrugged, unsure what had just happened, but sensing it was better not to ask.

"Walking's good," he parroted.

He looked back at the path they had taken last time. It was silly, but some part of him feared that returning to that loop physically would put them in the same predicament conversationally as well.

"Can we go this way?" He pointed in the opposite direction.

She nodded again, one side of her mouth turned upward in an uncharacteristic smirk.

"We can do that," she assured, turning in the same direction.

The two walked in awkward silence, Riley just a step behind him. It was the perfect metaphor for how she'd always felt with him; just a step behind. She considered saying the thought aloud, but decided not to.

She knew how Maya would begin, by reminding him that she had all the power, but Riley didn't want to hurt him that way. Nor did it seem necessary to point out, since he already knew.

"Can I just say something?" He whirled around, suddenly facing her. "One thing, and then you can say whatever you want and I won't interrupt or argue. I promise."

The brunette tipped her head down, offering permission to continue.

Lucas released the breath he'd been holding. He knew his entire future weighed on what happened next. This was his moment.

"I can only imagine what the last three years have been like for you, raising Lily by yourself, thinking that I chose not to be here with the two of you." He paused, hoping he didn't sound too rehearsed. "And I know I didn't handle things right last week. You were right. I wasn't thinking about her or you, I was thinking about me, and what I wanted…or didn't want."

Her head titled to the side, not understanding.

"I just didn't want to lose any more time," he explained, shoulders sagging.

Her dark eyes melted into a soft, warm chocolate.

"I can't promise that I'll be perfect, but I can be a good dad…if given the chance."

Timidly, she reached out to touch his arm, and their eyes met.

"I believe that," she smiled weakly, pulling back.

"And as much as I'd love to let you think I'm the perfect mom, I'm not. Half the time I have no idea what I'm doing, I just make it up as I go."

She read the books and asked for advice, but there was only so much she could do to prepare. Most of her knowledge about Lily and how to mother her had come from simple trial and error.

Her gaze shifted to her hands, where one fingernail was picking at another.

"And I didn't handle this any better than you did. I mean, I am worried. Of course, I'm worried. She's just a little girl and we just changed her whole world. That's a big deal."

Riley began walking and Lucas followed. He couldn't help but think of how he'd spent their entire relationship following her, waiting for her.

"And I do think it's our job to make this as simple and easy on her as possible."

The blonde nodded from behind.

"I agree."

She could stop right there. Keep the horrible truth to herself. But he had been honest with her, admitted his faults and taken his share of the blame. It was only fair she own her part too.

"It wasn't just about Lily though. I panicked."

The brunette finally turned to face him.

"You started talking about school and moving here, and it all just hit me…this," she gestured around them, "is our new reality."

As he looked into her shame-filled eyes he finally understood what Farkle had been trying to tell him. Riley had wanted this, but she hadn't asked for it, hadn't expected it. She hadn't pushed him away out of anger or resentment.

"And that scares you." He asked, already knowing the answer.

Her wall of defenses cracked with those words.

"This isn't how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be older and married. You were supposed to be here.

Her eyes stung with unshed tears.

"But then she was here and you weren't, and I had to go on no matter how wrong it felt…but then I got used to it, and I started to think this was it was gonna be. So, when you came back and you started talking about getting to know her and getting your own place, this is gonna sound really selfish, but all I could think about was how if she was with you then she wouldn't be with me."

He'd have given anything in that moment to hold her, to take the pain away. Instead all he could do was reach out and place his hand on her shoulder.

Riley leaned her cheek against the back of his hand, with a grateful smile.

"It's just not the life I wanted for her."

'For any of us.'

"Separate homes, separate parents…"

'Separate families…'

Lucas traced her jawline with his finger.

That wasn't the life he wanted for their daughter either, or for them.

He positioned himself behind her, placing his free hand on her other shoulder. It wasn't the same as holding her, but it was the closest he'd come, with the exception of their collision at the bakery.

The brunette leaned back into him with startling clarity.

It wasn't the bay window she had been wishing for. It was him.

She stepped forward, eager to put distance between them.

"I guess this is something we'll just have to figure out on our own," she rattled nervously.

He forced a smile, trying to hide his disappointment.

"Yeah, like you said, we have a lot of things to figure out, and it's gonna take some time. I get that now."

The defeat in his voice broke her heart.

She knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to be selfless, to make everything better for her and for Lily. Because that's what good fathers did. They made sacrifices for their children. Of course, children didn't know that. They were ignorant of the struggles to mold and provide, until they grew older and more aware.

Her child didn't even know she had a father, never mind how far he'd go to ensure her happiness and safety.

The brunette turned toward Lucas, with a smile.

"You're right, we do need to work out some sort of agreement and it's not going to happen overnight," she paused.

She pushed her doubts back down. Lucas deserved this. Lily deserved this. They all did.

"Do you have plans after this? Because if not, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come to the park with me."

His brows creased in confusion.

"There's someone there I think you should meet."

His green eyes lit with understanding.

"Really? I mean, you're sure she's ready for this?"

He was ready! But he'd promised to consider Lily first from there on out, and it was a promise he intended to keep.

Riley's smile faded.

Honestly, she had no idea if Lily was ready for any of this. She knew she wasn't. But one meeting was not going to do permanent psychological damage, was it?

"I don't know if we should tell her you're her dad just yet but, I see no reason why she can't meet "mommy's new friend," she made air quotes as she spoke the words, "who is obviously going to be around for…awhile."

Lucas grinned wide, inside he was reeling! His arms circled her with a will of their own, and he pulled her close, whispering words of gratitude into her hair.

It smelled like cranberries.

She leaned her head back; her face just inches from his.

"Before you get too excited, you should know my parents are there too."

His gaze fell to her lips. The temptation to close the distance between them was agonizing, but then she might not feel comfortable enough to take him to the park, and he'd do nothing to jeopardize his chance to meet his little girl.

The blonde shrugged, bringing her even closer.

"I'm gonna have to face them sooner or later."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes, uncertain how to disentangle herself from his embrace. Even less certain that she wanted to.

"Yeah…yeah, I guess that's true."

She took a breath to steady herself, and slid her hands down his arms until she found his hand.

Riley laced their fingers together as he reluctantly released her, and began leading him toward the park where their daughter was waiting.

* * *

Cory Mathews handed his granddaughter to his wife Topanga and rummaged through the basket on the ground for the family picnic blanket. He lifted the worn, faded, fabric and began unfolding it with his hands.

"Oh! What a beautiful baby," he sang to the toddler with a smile.

"Oh! What a beautiful day! I've got a wonderful feeling..." he glanced up to see his daughter approaching. Only she wasn't alone as he'd expected.

Topanga noticed her husband's sudden shift in mood and twisted to get a better view. She instantly recognized the problem.

"What's he doing here," the older man hissed as he shook the blanket violently.

His wife smiled down at the little girl in her hands.

"Obviously Riley invited him. Be nice."

He threw the blanket on the ground and began tugging at the corners, agitated when it wouldn't lay straight.

"How do we know that?" He challenged. "Maybe he's holding her at gunpoint."

Topanga rolled her eyes.

"Cory, do you see a gun?" She kept her tone cheerful to distract Lily from the tension.

He squinted, examining the man as he neared.

"No..."

She looked up at him, her smile wide yet threatening.

"Then be nice." She ground out.

Lucas tensed as the Mathews family came into view. Even from a distance, he could see the disgust on his former teacher's face. He couldn't blame Mr. Mathews for hating him or being skeptical of his innocence in the matter. He imagined he'd feel the same if something similar happened to his own child one day.

His gaze shifted to the little girl in Topanga's arms.

That child was no longer hypothetical. She was smiling, living angel, with soft curls in her brown hair and the sweetest giggle he'd ever heard.

"Are you okay," Riley asked, squeezing his hand. It was only then he realized he'd stopped moving.

He looked down at their hands and then to the woman staring at him with such concern.

She was the mother of his child. He knew that already, but it was as though something inside his brain finally clicked, and he saw her with new eyes.

He'd always admired her. From the day she'd fallen into his lap, he'd been moved by the beauty and strength of her character. He'd respected her, loved her. None of those affections wavered with time, but seeing their little girl, seeing Riley in her, it struck him how incredible the woman next to him truly was; that she had carried and born the miracle they had created together.

"She's amazing, isn't she?"

Everything about her seemed warmer; her eyes, her smile. She always looked like that when Lily was involved.

He wondered if he looked the same way, the way he imagined a father should.

"Amazing isn't a good enough word."

There was no word able to do her justice in his eyes.

Lily caught sight of her mother and took off running, despite Topanga's efforts to hold on.

"Mommy!" she squealed. Her grandmother followed after.

"I'm sorry, she saw you and just," the woman, paused in front of them. "Well, you saw."

Mrs. Mathews was one of the fiercest women he'd known, and standing in front of her after all that happened, was extremely intimidating.

"Lucas." She nodded in his direction. Her tone was clipped, but not unfriendly.

Her focus returned to her daughter and he got the feeling some unspoken conversation was taking place between them.

"Mommy," Lily wrapped her arms around her mother's leg, begging for attention.

She bent down to the little girl's level with a smile.

"Can you just give us a minute?"

Topanga nodded, and headed back toward her husband, giving the three of them the privacy requested.

Riley shot him a tentative glance, before turning her attention to their child. She stroked the little girl's hair back from her face.

"Hi there, beautiful girl. Did you have fun with grandma and grandpa?"

Lily giggled instead of answering the question. Riley laughed too.

"I'm glad you're having a good day," she cooed, reaching up to take his hand.

"Can you do mommy a favor?"

The little girl's head tilted to the side, the exact same way Riley sometimes did.

"This," she said, pulling Lucas down to the same level, "is mommy's friend, Lucas. Do you think you can say hi to him for me?"

Lily studied him with her big, green eyes a moment, before smiling and waving her approval.

"Oh, hi!"

Lucas beamed with pride, as he extended his hand and the little girl accepted it, while Riley watched with her heart in her throat.

"Hi Lily," She wrapped her second hand around his and used both to give it a firm shake.

He looked up at Riley with tear brimmed eyes, asking for guidance.

Lily's determined expression melted into a heart full of concern.

"Okay?" she asked, placing her hands on each side of his face. "No cry. No be sad."

He grinned, fighting back the tears so as not to scare her.

The brunette's chin dipped toward her chest with shame.

She'd been so wrapped up in all the ways Lucas's return complicated their lives, that she had forgotten the good in it. This was the good; seeing his eyes shine with love for her, watching her bond with him. This was what she had spent the last two years wishing for.

Maybe it could all work itself out, and they'd all be okay.

Lucas could scarcely believe the tenderness and concern of their child. He looked into the eyes that mirrored his own, sensing that part of him within her. Could she feel it too? Did she have any idea how much he already loved her?

"He's okay," Riley assured.

The little girl pointed to his face.

"He's crying," her tiny finger ran down his cheek.

The blonde chuckled. She was smart too.

"He is crying baby, but that doesn't always mean sadness. Sometimes people cry when they're happy too."

Lily squinted, as though she were processing her mother's explanation, before turning back to Lucas.

"You happy?"

He nodded, finally letting the tears fall.

"Yes, sweet girl. I'm very happy." He glanced over to Riley, gratitude etched into his features. "Happier than I've been in a long time."

Her little face brightened.

"Good!"

Both adults laughed at her enthusiasm. Lily giggled too, though she didn't understand why.

"How about we go swing?" Riley suggested, knowing her daughter wouldn't be able to resist her favorite activity on the playground.

The little girl clapped her hands excitedly and took her mother's hand, while Lucas looked down at his own uncertain how to proceed.

Her heart ached for him, as she watched him stand there, fidgeting with the ends of his shirt.

A smile formed on her lips as she rose to her feet.

"Hey Lily, do you want to fly?"

The little girl's eyes grew wide and so did her grin.

She looked over at Lucas, hoping he would latch onto the life preserver she'd just offered. But he didn't move or speak. He just stood there looking lost.

Her gaze shifted back to Lily, who leaned in eager for whatever secret mommy was about to share.

"If you let Lucas hold your other hand we can swing you together and you'll be able to fly. You wanna try it?"

The blonde shook his head.

"Riles, you don't have to do that."

His eyes were focused on the beautiful little girl at his feet, watching her wheels turn. He'd already gotten more from this day than he'd ever expected. Pushing his luck didn't seem prudent, and if he was honest with himself, he feared the chance of rejection.

The brunette studied her daughter's expression and wondered if she'd made a mistake. It had never occurred to her that Lily would hesitate.

After several seconds of pondering, she extended her other hand to Lucas with a simple "Otay."

Topanga observed from the picnic blanket, while her husband alternately sulked and fumed next to her. She had been an advocate for Lucas, and a cheerleader of his relationship with her daughter; a fact she'd never forgiven herself for once he'd disappeared from their lives. His ignorance absolved him of abandonment, leaving her to question what she felt about Lucas Friar, and her support of him in the past.

Her lips curled into a smile as Lily took their hands and they swung her up into the air.

"They look happy, Cory."

Her husband shifted uncomfortably.

"Who had the bright idea to sit on the ground during picnics," he muttered, ignoring her comment.

"The ground is hard, and cold."

She shot him a puzzled glance.

"It's eighty-six degrees out."

He shrugged off that one as well. He had no interest in being told he was wrong.

"I can't believe she brought him here," he gestured toward his daughter, "And that you're okay with it! Am I the only one that remembers what he did?!"

Topanga decided to ignore accusation, and focus on the picture in front of her instead.

Lily kicked her little feet, while Riley pushed her from behind and Lucas stood to the side, taking it all in with a smile. The toddler squealed and the two adults shared a conspiratorial glance before exchanging positions.

Riley appeared more at peace than she had seen her in years, though she knew it wasn't likely to last. Being her father's daughter, she had a tendency to lean toward the safe and comfortable. Her situation with Lucas Friar was neither of those.

She watched him push her granddaughter on the swings, turning back toward her daughter with a smile. Clearly, the gesture meant a great deal to him.

Her husband's concerns were understandable, she too, had some reservations, but if the two of them could work together for Lily's sake, wasn't that a good thing?

* * *

Once Lily tired of the swings, she focused her attention to the merry-go-round, and then the jungle gym with the spiral slide. The toddler flitted from one station to another, while her parents followed, and her grandparents observed from the sidelines for the better part of an hour before her energy began to fail.

The little girl tried to hide the yawn behind her hand, but Riley saw it.

She turned to Lucas with a sigh.

"I hate to say it, but we should probably head out soon. It's about her naptime."

When Maya had first blurted out her rights as Lily's mother, she'd been relieved; happy to have protection from the whims of Lucas's temper. Riley had all the power, but exercising that right didn't make her feel secure. It made her sick.

She had given Lucas this time with their child, and now she was taking it away.

The corner of his mouth quirked upward in a half-hearted smirk. That was his way of trying to make it better for her.

"Yeah, probably."

The brunette bent down, taking both her daughter's hands in her own.

Why was this so hard?

Lily didn't understand about paternity or heartbreak, but she could sense her mother's pain.

"No be sad," she whimpered.

Riley tossed her head back, fighting the fresh round of tears pooling in her eyes. She didn't even know why she felt like crying. After a deep breath to compose herself, she met her little girl's concern filled gaze and forced a smile.

"Mommy's not sad baby," she fibbed, brushing her daughter's sympathy tears away. "There's no need for you to cry."

The little girl examined her mother's face, and thought back to her explanation earlier.

"Mommy happy," she asked.

The brunette nodded, unable to lie to her child a second time.

"We had a big day, didn't we?"

She didn't wait for a reply.

"We played at the park," her gaze flitted to Lucas and back down.

"We made a new friend."

She almost choked on the word.

"But now it's time to go home, so I need you to do me one more favor, okay?"

Lily nodded.

Riley glanced up into the tortured green eyes of her daughter's father.

"Can you say goodbye to Lucas for me?"

The toddler beamed at her mother, happy to comply with her request.

Lucas squatted to her level, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail.

"I had so much fun playing with you today, Lily."

She grinned and before either adult realized what happened, the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed gently. He circled his arm around her, returning the embrace. He hadn't allowed himself to hope for such acceptance, but having it offered meant everything.

Riley stood motionless; adrift. She watched with wide eyes from above, counting the seconds until her daughter let go.

One…

Two…

Three…

Finally, the little girl released her father's neck and waved her hand rapidly in his face.

Lucas chuckled, thinking how much she reminded him of her mother when they'd first met. He hoped Lily would be the same; that she'd cling to that childlike innocence and enthusiasm as Riley had.

The brunette placed a hand on her daughter's back and began to steer her in the opposite direction.

"Why don't you run over to grandma and grandpa so mommy can say goodbye to her friend?" she gestured to her parents who were standing just a few feet ahead, and no doubt watching their every move.

"I'll be right behind you," she promised.

She took off for her grandparents' arms, occasionally looking back for her mom.

Riley turned to Lucas, straining a smile. She knew how much this day had meant to him, and didn't want to ruin it with her own conflictions. He thanked her repeatedly for bringing him along, and gushed with enthusiasm about similar occurrences in the future while she stood there clutching her arms and questioning her reaction. Seeing her daughter take Lucas's hand had warmed her heart, given her hope, but when Lily had thrown herself into his arms like that…

* * *

Lucas was in such a good mood after his day with Lily and Riley that he decided to take the long way back to the hotel. He'd been back in the city for a week and most of that time had been spent alone in his room either kicking himself for not knowing he had a child, or obsessing over his argument with her mother. But today, the sun was warm and the universe kinder, giving Lucas the courage to explore some of his older haunts.

If he remembered correctly, there was a basketball court not far from the park. He used to go there with Farkle, after the genius had used physics to help him make an impossible basket for one of Mr. Mathews' assignments, and then the two of them had brought Zay there when he'd moved into the city. The group of six had shared many places of interest, but the court was just for the three boys.

He could hear the sounds of the game as he neared. There was a group of boys, not much older than they had been, playing. The ball bounced against the concrete while the teenagers talked, joked, and did their best to intimidate one another. It was almost like being back in time.

Suddenly, one of the boys looked over. His brow furrowed as he examined the man standing in front of him.

"Lucas?"

The young boy shouted, his tone unsure.

The blonde blinked, taken aback by the greeting.

"Do I…know you?"

The boy laughed at his question, and looked back toward the benches, which were hidden from Lucas's view.

"Man, for a second, I thought I was hollering at the wrong stranger," he pointed his index finger, and looked back to the bench again. "Come here, you're not gonna believe this!"

An older man appeared from the sidelines, tensing as his dark brown eyes landed on the tall blonde.

It took a moment for Lucas to place his old friend.

They'd only seen one another once since he'd been back, and that encounter hadn't gone well.

The boy pointed at him, and looked back to his mentor for approval.

"I told you, you wouldn't believe it! He was just walking by and I when I saw him, I knew I knew him from somewhere. Took me a minute, but I remembered that picture in your office of you and your friends. He's the guy, isn't he? The friend from Texas?"

Zay flinched at the boy's choice of wording.

He felt guilty about their altercation, but more than that, he was confused by it. Lucas's name had been cleared of any wrong-doing. Any anger he felt on Riley or Lily's behalf was officially moot. Yet each time he thought of Lucas or that day, his muscles would stretch and his blood would boil.

He offered the boy a reassuring grin before shaking his head in denial.

"Sorry kid, that ain't no friend of mine."


End file.
